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Pop_S
Casual Contributor

Death of mother

Death of mother of daughter-in-law with subsequent and rapid development of resentment toward mother-in-law.

 

Is this a recognized condition?

 

How can the problem be resolved?

5 REPLIES 5

Re: Death of mother

@Pop_S  Hi Pop_S and welcome. Sounds to me that your daughter in law is in the greiving stage and if I were you I would be giving her space whilst being there for her when needed.  Try not to take her reaction to your partner to heart.

Re: Death of mother

Thank you for your reply.

We actually have 2 daughters in law who have reacted in the same way.

Respective maternal deaths were 5 and 7 years ago and both have reacted to mother in law in the same way.

I doubt that grieving ever stops but perhaps diminishes over time.

Needless to say our family has been fractured.

We have been unable to negotiate with either family or our sons.

We can't even get a statement of their problem with us or my wife in particular.

Mother in law (my wife) has depression and has suffered the same emotional trauma as loss of her sons. She sobs every day.

 

Without dialogue we can never solve this issue so I may be wasting everyone's time.

She is elderly and has serious chronic illness.

 

There are case studies of this problem on several websites but I was hoping to be directed to someone that could give professional advice.

 

My poor wife is being driven to an early death.

 

Thanks again!

Re: Death of mother

Hi there @Pop_S,

I'm so sorry to hear that you and your family are going through what sounds like a really difficult time. As @greenpea mentioned, grief can be quite complex and hard to navigate.

I'm wondering whether it might be worth giving Griefline a call to chat through your experience, because whilst you mention that it's a daughter in-law experiencing the grief, it sounds like it's impacting you and your family members too.

We also have a free counselling service here at SANE which you can reach on 1800 187 263 Mon-Fri 10am-10pm. Our free counselling service supports people affected by complex mental health issues, but also family members and friends too.

Hopefully these two referrals will be of help for you and your family, but please feel free to continue reaching out here in the forums if you have any further questions or need an anonymous space to get things off your chest.

Rhye ☘️

Re: Death of mother

Dear Rhy

Thank you.

My wife is most affected and I am doing this for her.

I will try the links you have kindly suggested.

Pop_S

Re: Death of mother

@Pop_S you are so very welcome 💙 I truly hope you find the support you need for your wife. You sound like an amazing and supportive partner.

Please don't hesitate to check back in here if you need further support.

All the best,
Rhye

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