Lived Experience Forum

[Kodee]

I don't understand why I can't be normal or at least feel normal. I have many lows and I don't want this to be my life. Small little things bother me. I just want the pain to go away. I'm ready for a new start, a better start. I want the thoughts to stop.

[TheVorticon]

Hi @Kodee,

Sorry to hear that you're feeling low and are hurting. It's a tough place to be.

I used to think that the saying "there's no such thing as normal" was a throwaway line, but now I tend to think that it might be true. At least for myself, I know it makes me feel worse to compare myself to an idealised "normal" that may not really exist.

It's very cool that you feel ready for a new, better start. You might have heard this question before but what do you imagine you'd be doing if you had this new start?

[Kodee]

I imagine being happy all the time.

[TheVorticon]

Thanks for answering @Kodee.

I totally get why you'd want to be happy all the time. Sadly that's not something that's realistic for anyone though... There are always going to be ups and downs, things that go wrong and things that need to be overcome to make the successes all the more sweet.

Sometimes it can help to think about life like being a hero in a story. The hero starts out with a problem or adverse situation. Then through determination and perseverance and often a bit of help they someday get through the problem. If they didn't have to battle through the problem then it wouldn't be as great for them when they succeed, and it certainly wouldn't seem like a very realistic story.

I'm wondering, do you tend to put pressure on yourself that you "should be" feeling happy? 

[Kodee]

@TheVorticon yea i do put alot of pressure on myself to be happy. I put pressure on myself with everything in my life.

[TheVorticon]

@Kodee don you find that pressure to be helpful with feeling happy or not?
I know for me, if I'm focusing on how I think I should be feeling when I don't feel that way, it invariably makes me feel worse about myself. Like making myself feel bad about feeling bad.

[Zaphod]

Hi @Kodee.  I can put way too much pressure on myself too and also have a brutal harsh inner critic that likes to compare with others and put me down all the time. One strategy i found helpful to get rid of the negative thoughts is to write down what the voice/s are saying on paper then either throw it in the bin or safetly burn it to get it out of me.  Its a short term solution but i found it offered me relief.