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Looking after ourselves

DrawnToTheWater
New Contributor

New and not coping

I feel like I’m going off the deap end  

i have complex ptsd and can act impulsively and be a bit self sabotaging at times too 

 

these last few weeks I have been really struggling to control my emotions and my temper. I have had conflict with my boss, my co workers , left work early, yelled at my mother in law and generally been a pain in the ass to be around. I wake up with this feeling like I just want to punch a wall. I’ve never punched a wall in my life! 

 

There’s been quite a few big things that have been hard for me to priceee . Different responsibilities at work, moving to a new seat at work, new colleagues at work, even the ‘streee’ it.booking a holiday makes me anxious and sends me in to a spiral of ‘can we afford it’ and if we  can’t does this mean we will be homeless on the streets. I’m always worried about th consequences of my actions at work as well .... 

 

my psychologist nearly dumped me three weeks ago because I haven’t been making enough progress and I keep stabbbng myself in the foot. It makes me feel like a failure and like I will never be able to be helped. Sometimes it’s like I’m wrapped up so tightly in my own pain, that it’s safe and it’s all I know. 

 

4 REPLIES 4

Re: New and not coping

Hi @DrawnToTheWater

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story.

Sometimes is takes time for other members to find your post.

Please use the search function to find stories similar to yours and then you can send that member a message by using the @mention function which will send an email to that person with a link to the thread.

There are lots of great members here at the forum that are helpful and compassionate. 

I hope you find the forum a positive and helpful experience.

Take Care.

SleepyPanda

Re: New and not coping

Hi @DrawnToTheWater and welcome to the forums.

 
When I read your post I related to that feeling of having trouble controlling your temper and feeling like you want to lash out even though that's not really who you are. I struggle with the impact of trauma on my life and one way that it can get me is in what I call my 'potentially explosive inside'. I often feel like I want to fight or like I'm going to crack it and it takes so little to find myself feeling like it. Experiencing those feelings and keeping them under control can be exhausting. Stress is a trigger for it for me, as it sounds it may be for you too?
 
I'm sorry to hear that working with your psychologist isn't sounding very helpful at the moment. I can see how disheartening that could be. Are you able to talk with your psychologist about those feelings of failure and of not being able to be helped, and where they might be coming from? 
 
It's great to see you here. Something I have benefited from in being here on the forum is knowing that I'm not alone with what I'm experiencing and that there are others who go through the same kinds of things. If you'd like to you can introduce yourself here. It can be a good place to connect with other members too. 

Re: New and not coping

Hi @DrawnToTheWater,

Welcome to the forums. It sounds like there is a lot of stress in your life. Managing big emotions can be challenging at the best of times...I'm glad that you have reached out here.

 

We reccently hosted a Topic Tuesday discussion on distress tolerence. It was an interesting chat, with some great tips shared by members on what helps them with emotional regulation. You can read it here

 

 

Re: New and not coping

Hi @DrawnToTheWater It sounds like things have been pretty tough lately. I'm glad you've found the forums and shared a bit of what's going on for you – it can be difficult to reach out but I hope it helps to hear that there are others with similar experiences. From your post, it sounds like a few things happened within a few weeks, leaving you feeling stressed, angry and emotionally overwhelmed. I'm so sorry that you have been feeling so tightly wrapped in your pain. How have things been going since you posted? Did you get a chance to check out the Topic Tuesday that @Chamomile suggested? Did anything there resonate with you? I hope things are looking up a bit this week @DrawnToTheWater. Please keep posting 🙂
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