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Looking after ourselves

Former-Member
Not applicable

Its OK Not To Be OK

IT'S OK NOT TO BE OK
Sometimes it feels like society says you should be always happy, and that showing your sadness is a sign of weakness. This is far from true – if you were to hold in all your sadness or anger you... you should be always happy, and that showing your sadness is a sign of weakness. This is far from true – if you were to hold in all your sadness or anger you would explode. We all have good and bad days. No one can be perfectly happy all of the time, that is not human.One day you feel on top of the world, the next you are down. While I am still trying to accept this myself, I know that it is part of life and whether or not others choose to show it, it still happens.

  For those who are struggling with mental illness and/or grief, dealing with this pressure to always seem happy can be even more challenging, as a lot of days are low. Sometimes when we are feeling down, we put on a mask to hide the darkness that lies behind the smile. Getting out of bed can be a major task by itself. With depression at times there is no apparent reason for why you are feeling this way. When it feels as though a cloud is hanging over our heads, those are the days we push people away the most. We do this because it is easier to try and forget about what is going on and not bother others with our problems. But getting through your problems and ignoring your problems are two completely different things.
  Whether that is talking to someone about what is going on, finding answers to what is causing that emotion, or using coping skills such as drawing, yoga, mindfulness, and so many other healthy ideas, there are ways to help you get through the bad days. It’s okay to feel down sometimes. It will pass.

3 REPLIES 3

Re: Its OK Not To Be OK

This is so true!

Re: Its OK Not To Be OK

Perfectly said @Former-Member. I know when I'm in the vortex of my depression - to put on a happy face takes more energy than I sometimes have.
Logically I know that the moment - this depressive period will not last - but emotionally - it's hard to see that it will ever end.
Thank God for my psychologist and therapy. My down hard days are not as long ir as severe. And I know what tools I need to help that moment pass easier. And one of those ways is talking on this forum with people that really understand what I'm going through.
Great post.
Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Its OK Not To Be OK

Hi @Former-Member

well written!

I also try to remember that we can only see a very twisted truth of this world. If I just look at myself I know I twist the truth. I snap pictures when I am laughing and share them with friends, on social media... I call "outsiders" (people who are not familiar with my MI) only when I am well enough. I talk openly at work about my MI and people do not recognise the days I am struggling, because I put my mask on and cherish being distracted at work. I can see the surprise in their faces when I mention that a previous week was a difficult week. Even when I cry on the way to work, the tears and my appearance normally have returned to a respective way before I enter the office, and yes I do come late at times to ensure I look better. I do leave on days that I struggle too much or I hide in my office. I could talk all day about how it is ok not to be ok, but I don't, I work to have an income and I would like to keep that job and so far I have received the support and flexibility I require.

Why? I still feel like a burden. I am starting to understand that I have a long way ahead and that MI will be with me. I am starting to accept for myself that it's ok not to be ok, but I still cannot explain to an "outsider" what happens when I am unwell. So my attempt on sharing that it is ok not to be ok is to share a past experience (last week...) with people when I feel strong enough to do so.

I don't know if I made much sense this morning, but I definitely support it's OK not to be OK 🙂

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