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Looking after ourselves

Aj67
New Contributor

My 87 year old mum cant take it any more

Hi all, 

Would appreciate any help referals to places and advice.

My 52 yo brother has been suffering clinical depression for many years and always ends up at mums soon after moving out.

He is regulary going to hospital and currently recieving E C T and on antidepressions

He recently attempted sucide and is at his whits end.

His biggest issue is no house, wife, kids, super or money and this is all he talks about.

This has been going on now form10 years.

I know in the past drugs have sent him back to hospital and still suspect this is the case although not on a full time basis.

Bascially i am am trying to find a sutible place for him to go to help resolve some of his problems and reabilitate him back into the community. (He has no concept of how to clean cook , cohabitate as he has always had his mum or ex longterm girlfriend to do all this. )

It seems all these issues started when his girlfriend of 15 years left him but this happened over 15 years ago.

As mentioned he is currently in hospital for a couple more weeks and he really cant go back to mums as it will be the thing that will end her life, 

He can be emotionally abusive to her and of no help around the house, i trully believe that there has to be somewhere he can go to get help and accomadation so as he can intergrate back into normal living.

We live on the gold coast so areas within 100ks would make it easier to visit, 

He recieves a disability pension and i would be happy to contibute extra if needed although dont have thousands to contribute.

If anyone knows of a suitable place for him any advice would be appreciated

3 REPLIES 3

Re: My 87 year old mum cant take it any more

What an incredibly difficult experience for you and your family @Aj67 It's not easy trying to navigate accommmodation options alone. It's great that your brother has you on his side 🌻

While our community can share general information about services, our guidelines recommend members don't share specific details of services. Thes guidelines are in place to protect the anonymity of our members. I hope that makes sense. 

You certainly don't need to navigate this alone though and it might be useful to have a chat with a social worker at the hospital to get their support with figuring out the best acommmodation option for your brother for now. You might also like to contact Carer's Queensland for some pointers on where to from here. Oh and, you can contact referral services like Beyond Blue for some advice and support. Hope that's a little useful for you @Aj67. I wish you and your family all the best with everything moving forward 🐼

Re: My 87 year old mum cant take it any more

@Aj67 - so sorry to read about the mental anguish your brother is going through and the adverse effects this is having on the family. I have been throug this with my daughter and so feel for you all - especially your mother. This type of family crisis and emotional abuse can have devastating effects on a carers health and cannot go on. I totally understand where you are coming from.

 

While your brother is in hospital in the psychiatric ward,  I do believe he has the right to ask for and be provided with the services of a Social Worker. He can then advise the social worker that he has nowhere to live when he leaves hospital and has no money. The social worker can then endeavour to find him emergency housing and work towards more permanent housing, and also can assist him to apply for eligible benefits from Centrelink and his other needs of follow up treatment. This type of assistance should be available n QLD as it is here in NSW, but you can enquire through the hospital and also ask for a mental advocate for him if nessecary. Wishing you all the best.

Re: My 87 year old mum cant take it any more

Thanks for your advice he currently has a social worker but they seem to want to put him in a place that reminds me of a retirement home, which i cant bear the thought of hopefully we can find somewhere more age suitable

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