Looking after ourselves
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22-02-2019 01:22 PM
22-02-2019 01:22 PM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
My mr. says, and especially does, inappropriate things all the time @Former-Member, but he has anosognosia and cannot recognise that he is unwell, mildly delusional at times, and behaving inappropriately or strangely. That is where our trips reflect our everyday life - we are living extremes of experience, good and bad, cringing with embarrassment when things are unexplainably wonky, run late for performances and get locked out till the end of anset or intermission, miss flights, inconvenience others, etc ..... so the two days with the four of us further north without mr. and two other family members who were unwell or difficult to manage, were heavenly.
We were not answering to any of that, nor were we held hostage to mr. daily regimen, which includes making all his own meals in hotel rooms with food stores he carries forward in suitcases, or sources locally, going around the hotel facilities such as dining room, kiosk or room service, but ordering and keeping crockery and utensils till the end of our stay.
It is wonderful, the things we do and see, but they come at the cost of anxiety and sadness, at times some trauma ..... but we can’t get through to him, and it it would be inconceivable to him if we said we wouldn’t travel with him because he is unwell. On the contrary, he believes me to be unwell by not accepting his reality and pushing against it.
Taking the magical things as blessings, and recognising that the wonky things will, at some point, bear witness to his unwell state of mind.
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22-02-2019 04:14 PM
22-02-2019 04:14 PM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Understand where you are coming from in not wanting to travel alone. Mr Darcy lasted 5 days after going interstate once @Faith-and-Hope, where he was staying called an ambulance and he got taken to hospital where I am sure they would have kept him on a treatment order if it wasn't for his two brothers collecting him and bringing him home.
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22-02-2019 05:20 PM
22-02-2019 05:20 PM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
We are not at that same level @Former-Member, or it would have been picked up by now ....
Mr.f&h comes across as eccentric to most people I think, but once you are within a closer orbit, it becomes at first confusing, then somewhat alarming .... as our recent visitors found ..... and that is as distressing for them as it is for us, with mr. oblivious to it all, or discomforted enough by questions about his diet and exercise patterns to make himself scarce sociallly to whom ever is enquiring too closely.
Of course, without medical evidence that things are otherwise, the dr’s office is his greatest performance arena, giiving me the understanding that he is aware at some level that his underlying behaviour needs disguising ..... the same with his chsp habit being kept secret.
These things either need to be ‘fessed up to by him, or discovered through medical results or misadventure ..... revealing them ourselves is unsafe on many levels.
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23-02-2019 07:57 AM
23-02-2019 07:57 AM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
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23-02-2019 08:25 AM
23-02-2019 08:25 AM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Hi @Former-Member and thanks for asking after me a few days ago. So I havent responded before now. I've been a little quiet this week.
Hubby received some good news from his oncologist on Thursday. After a series of blood tests and scans last week, his oncologist has advised that his melanoma remains in remission. Phew! Scans are moved out now to 6-monthly rather than 3-monthly. It has really lifted his mood the past couple of days, which is so good to see. Unfortunately his Parkinsons Disease remains a major daily struggle for him however. But at least we can now concentrate on that, without having to worry quite so much about the cancer. The cancer will always be there, but its just not active at this time. Its possible it may remain that way. Hello also to @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Lisek @pMac Hope all are well.
Sherry 🌸
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23-02-2019 09:16 AM
23-02-2019 09:16 AM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
That is good news @Former-Member ...., anything that takes a bit of a load off is helpful for both of you. Glad to hear it ....
💐💕
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23-02-2019 09:17 AM
23-02-2019 09:17 AM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
@Former-Memberwelcome news re: remission 😀.
Will need to be employing a few stress reducing tactics ... have quite a few things happening and I can see Mr Darcy is starting to find it all a bit much.
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23-02-2019 01:13 PM
23-02-2019 01:13 PM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
That is good news @Former-Member
@Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope , very interesting discussion there , mr shaz says the strangest things sometimes , and I do worry when and what he will say .
don`t know what is happening there , one step at a time and covering for him is sometimes hard
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23-02-2019 06:34 PM
23-02-2019 06:34 PM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Hi @Shaz51
How are things going? How are Mum & Uncle?
Are any family members staying on for a little?
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23-02-2019 06:46 PM
23-02-2019 06:46 PM
Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
No @Former-Member everyone went day after the funeral. Dad is looking more and more lost and Darling is only just hanging on at the moment.