Skip to main content

Support Promote Advocate

for Borderline Personality Disorder

Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Looking after ourselves

wordman
Senior Contributor

ever wonder why

To be whole again Hey all. Ever wonder why things don't go right or why life is distorted and difficult to understand ? I was once experiencing these facts of life. It took me a few years to understand my purpose and function in life. As I overcame my distortions and difficulties, I understood one thing, I had to evaluate my life and understand my values and truths about life. I became true to myself and relied upon myself to understand my purpose and follow it to the letter. Only you can understand how to untangle the distortions and difficulties of life. It helps to minimize and simplify ones life. Don't clutter your life and your mind with all the nonsense that you see happening in this world. Understand that the world is distorted, dysfunctional and in a damn bloody mess. It is possible to heal oneself. It is possible to be happy and contented. Only you can achieve and overcome the negative aspects of life. You don't have to be influenced by the happenings in this world. Become whole by listening to yourself. Your soul. Your heart . Your mind.  All these entities are what guide you. These entities are what you have to learn how to achieve happiness and contentment. Be guided by the universe and you will be able to guide yourself within this dysfunctional, distorted, messy, and incomplete world.  

184 REPLIES 184

Re: ever wonder why

Hi @wordman

 

Do I ever wonder why? Only everyday! I do wonder why things are so hard to understand sometimes. Now that you raise the question I want to answer it. It is an excellent question! 

Let us start off by suggesting a few reasons:


1) I think things are hard to understand because language is very complex. It is also because some people do not communicate in a way to make themselves understood or understandable.


2) It is also easy to misunderstand some people because some people's intentions are not clear to us. For me, what this tends to look like is me asking myself the following question: "Why did she/he say that?"

 

3) The world is a damn mess. Just look at what we are doing to our beautiful planet earth! Further, while we need to think about the world and what we are doing to it - I think we have a collective responsibility - this does not mean that you or I are bad people because we are not taking care of our oceans, our forests, or our deserts. About a week ago I saw some young teenagers throwing soft drink cans into the ocean near where I go for my walk. I wasn't happy to see this, but at the time I was out with my friend Matthew and I didn't want to talk to the teenagers. I did, however, just glance toward them as if to say "not happy, Jan!" I did feel as though they could have gone and retrieved the cans - there were maybe 3 or 4 cans floating on the water's surface - because they were out swimming. I suppose on this occasion I chose to 'pick my battles'. 

 

As a philosopher and a writer myself, my recommendation to you would be to think about who you are as a person and what makes you happy. Let's go back and think about what our values are. My personal values are taking care of my mental and physical health, extending high loving kindness to other individuals. And when I take care of my own health, I take care of planet earth also. 

 

Wordman, I just want to let you know that as an autistic man of 31, I have frequent difficulties with language and communication. Some days are worse than others, some days I have no trouble at all. I just want to let you know that I support you, and that you are doing the best you can. I put both my thumbs up to you, yes I do. You are doing the best you can. I am sending you some high loving kindness. 

 

❤️    

 

Re: ever wonder why

Hi there.  Depends who is actually holding the steering wheel in my head. If i can pry the demons fingers loose and have a drive my self, I'll leave the tip....... But for most , your words are pink pearls. ........   Maybe i  just don't hate the tip enough yet....... Happy trails...    tonys  moon base one

Re: ever wonder why

@Jake63 Hello Jake 63. You mention that you have difficulties with language and communication. I found your reply to be articulate and very communicative. I found no such issues in your response. Thank you for your response. Indeed language is very complex. I wonder if the linguists of this world properly understand language and its complexities. Yes I do think about who I am and what makes me happy. Its the things that make me happy that I pursue. Extending high loving kindness to other people, as well as other things like respect, dignity, empathy and many others, is the way to live. You are exact and true in this regard. Thank you for your loving kindness. I extend the same to you as well as may you have many happy days ahead of you as i feel strongly that you deserve Many happy days. 

Kind Regards Wordman

 

Re: ever wonder why

Hi again @wordman

 

Great to hear from you! 

 

So I don't have trouble expressing myself via the spoken word, indeed it is the case I am very articulate and well-spoken. However, as a person on the autism spectrum, my weakness is in comprehending and processing spoken language. Comprehension is different from articulation. 

Re: ever wonder why

@Jake63 @tonys Hello jake63 and tonys. Thank you for your reply. My apologies for the delay in responding. Life has been busy lately. You both have said to me very interesting words. We all have demons in our lives. The challenge is to eliminate these demons and replace them with goodness, selflessness, and above all kindness. I can add other virtues to this list. The demons will go away. Yes I do ask myself why people say what they say. I just analyse it and say to  myself they are just not thinking or caring about the effect their words have on other people. That is what's important in life. It pays to choose your words carefully. Being polite is not difficult to achieve. It pays to turn the other cheek, Just as Christ told us to do. I am not religious and do not wish to express prophecy or preach. For me the words of our lord saviour resonate with me. Its all part of my healing which I have achieved. I wish the same for you. Be patient Jake63. You will come to understand the spoken word. 

Kind Regards 

Wordman 

Re: ever wonder why

@wordman         @maddison    @Sophia1 I only offer this to help illuminate the diversity of the spectrum and honour my friends Maddison and Sophia. 

From reality to the absence of......control to chaos....... Mankind...... a million faces a billion different shadows.       In the struggle of life, some lose control while others lose the vision to see they have.      

Mmmmm..... angels and demons. Are we all born of these 2 fathers?    My feeble mind,    1 more splinter of light in the infinite chandelier of autism.     I choose to survive in the worlds I create in my mind.     Countless refugees on the spectrum,   each their own suitcase,  wounds,   and road map to utopia.    Demons and angels both dine at my table,    neither denied,  and in constant flux.    My universe works for me and me alone.    I dream my dream,   a means to my end and my take on happiness.   I can counsel no one.   A survivor,  testament to the question.    Have demons and angels done a deal in the fancy dress shop?   Both masks over exploited,  who is who.   

No riches to steal nor crowns to adorn in my many worlds.    Masks,  robes,  crosses,   demons and angels all banished,  til next we break bread again on my terms, and only as bricks in my construct.    No false prophets drink from my chalice.    AND SO.........

Is this forum a land of shiny new cars,  flawless,  functional,  complete,  or is it an endless wrecking yard of old cars betrayed for newer cars,  broken,  unloved,  soiled by greasy hands pillaging the abandoned for the last their rusting frames have to offer.    

People this damaged......this broken......this detached from reality may offer words we neither understand or want,   but from the comfort of our armchairs ........ We should know ....... We must know.........That we will never really know......how these souls screaming in agony truly feel.    The lips move but bitter fruit, hailstones and bile are their symptoms,  not their intentions.    We can only listen,  forgive,   be humble,  and wait.......share some hope...........maybe.     Reality is in the mind of the beholder.    The worlds doomsday clock is 5 minutes to midnight.......

The hand of no animal has earned the sole rights to the virtue torch.......least of all man.

Wish you all the very best

Tonys moon base one

Re: ever wonder why

@tonys Hello tonys. Thank you for your reply. I read your response several times as I found it to be very interesting. You made some very fascinating and interesting comments. Such as " no false prophets shall drink from my chalice " " No riches to steal or crowns to adorn in my many worlds ". In fact your whole response resonated with a vision that is worthy. I like it when I am challenged to understand other peoples writing. Your writing challenged me and I  found it intriguing to decipher your words and use of language. Your analogies were poetic and creative. I will have to read your response a few more times to properly understand whether you are writing from your heart or your mind. Either way I found your response to be refreshing and enlightened. Well done. There is a writer within you. 

Kind Regards 

Wordman 

Re: ever wonder why

@Loz_3647 Hello Loz. Your comment " Loneliness isn't just sadness its a killer " was perplexing for me. I have a strong suspicion from where you are coming from, however I don't want to express any negativity or put you in a dark place. So please allow me to provide some positive thoughts. Thinking that sadness is a killer is a strong thing to say. Please try and practice visualizing solitude being a friend, such as one can embrace who they are in times of solitude. One can find peace in solitude. One can find harmony in solitude. One can find tranquility in solitude. I leave you with these thoughts and hope I have been helpful. Please understand, I am not being critical. Yes I too have experienced the negative aspects of solitude, however for me solitude has been a great thing because I allowed it to be. 

Kind Regards

Wordman 

 

Re: ever wonder why

Wow wow... Incredible @tonys 

 

Depth pain passion meaning.

 

I think you put so much of yourself into this reply to @wordman 

 

I really wish I had better words to express to you what I see.

 

Maybe an amazing poet could attempt to comment in a way that would justify my silly feedback.

 

I couldn't find the words - the only way I could say what I want is through art.

 

Thanks @wordman & @Jake63 . A really interesting thread & I'm learning & enjoying the sharing of ideas.

 

❤️xx 

maddison 

 

Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance

privacy statement | disclaimer | contact | Australian BPD Foundation Limited ABN: 83 163 173 439

We acknowledge and respect the traditional custodians of these ancestral lands. We acknowledge the deep feelings of attachment and relationship of Aboriginal people to country.