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10-07-2018 09:11 PM
10-07-2018 09:11 PM
Crunching logical numbers
After a long time trying to make sense of my struggles with MI, I returned to basics of logic to solve them.
Ok, so social anxiety with my troublesome black and white mentality of the 1980's had to be confronted. This was well prior to bipolar diagnosis.
Shutting myself away was not a long term option. Logic did tell me that conflict with people was a problem. The less people contact, the less conflict! But how was I going to go about this?
For me, moving from the inner city to the country was a big deal. Eventually we settled in a town with fewer than 4000 population with good shops and medical care. Logic worked.
Another challenge was avoid staying away from things like the local mens shed and footy club. Both organizations had a few toxic people. In a group conversation on one occasion a mere mention of me having a friend that is indigenous was met with nasty comments from Mr Toxic like "who'd be a mate with one of them". Ten years ago I would have left the venue upset...not now. The counter comment "I am and he's a mate I'm proud of"
The logic is that you dont achieve anything nor do you exercise your rights by walking away. You have one other option- to ignore the racist or the nasty in any group...thats also a logical move but it causes more issues.
I've turned to logics in many ways in my life. Losing weight for example- no matter what wonder diet is out there, you cant beat that fact that physical exercise and calorie control works best. On all food items we observe fat content sugar and carbs. But...we walk 25 minutes fast every day...and our foxy loves it as does our cardiovascular system.
Slowly over many years I havent stopped honing my logic skills.
To do that, my biggest hurdle was to allow logic to dominate emotions. That's tough to do. As soon as emotions are displayed, the predators of society grab the opportunity to squash you.
We have a local busy body. He stops me for a gossiping chat at the shops. Here is how it went yesterday
Him "so how's the local mens shed going for you"
Me- "great when I can attend, how's your horses"
Him- "oh, well hoping for more foals this year"
Me- "I hope you get them too...gotta rush off, have a good day "
Logical counter- 20-45 seconds, no time for him to pry much, I was not nasty nor anti social and although he wanted much more details - that's his problem. ..logic includes acknowledging you arent in this world to solve their problems...
WK
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13-07-2018 02:36 PM
13-07-2018 02:36 PM
Re: Crunching logical numbers
Thanks for sharing @Whiteknight. It sounds like you have empowered yourself through the use of logic and other coping strategies, whilst at the same time being careful not to internalise toxicity and bullying that you dont deserve.
How have others coped with these things? Do people use isolation as a strategy? Do others have alternative strategies for staying emotionally safe whilst staying engaged in the world?