Lived Experience Forum

[Cal]

Hi this is my first time posting, 

im really depressed and I feel all alone, and it's so very hard to talk to people that don't understand, I'm single 36 and all alone, I've been estranged from my family for 7 years now and only have friends on Facebook, none offline. So I feel isolated, what should I do??

[Former-Member]

Hey man...

Hope you feel better soon..

same siutation apart from a few factors. Try joining a gym or doing a social sport.

Watching the Reds at the moment with Dad which makes things a little bit easier for me.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Cal, @Caos
WELCOME TO SANEFORUMS
Loneliness is a killer, we really do have to push against its taking over. Someone on the forums here visits the local coffee shop daily, just that brief ecchange with the counter ppl and watching others come & go helps us feel connected.
You will find friends here. I can feel left out even here but maybe pick a couple threads at first.
Be kind to you, be your own best friend too.

"Life is difficult
But not impossible"

[Former-Member]

Hi @Cal

I agree with the above - loneliness is the pits.

There are quite a few things you can do about it. Firstly your age is on your side. You can join support groups for those who struggle with depression - they can have regular social gatherings as well.

There are also meet up groups that share various interests or just the fact they are also lonely and want to meet others to connect; - I have actually seen groups that cater for those who suffer social anxiety, so if you google those on your area you are bound to find one that suits you. 

If you go and after awhile it may not be for you, you try another group or event etc. There are also travelling tours specifically for single people. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain - you will eventually find at least one interest or social group etc that you feel somewhat comfortable with - you will find at least one person whom you will connect with. And one or two is all we need. Don't give up tryin - persistence will raise your confidence and will see success.

There are countless opportunities - it's just about taking that first step, that first risk. I use to say to myself "well if it's really bad I can make a polite excuse and make a quick exit and try something else.". Initially you will be nervous so I would push through this abit before I made a decision to continue with a group or leave - it takes a bit to loosen up and feel comfortable - please keep that in mind. Then go for it - we live once. There will be other lonely people out there looking for you too 

[TJ]

Hey Cal

Sometimes it can be difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I totally understand that as I suffer a similar problem (PTSD, Major Depressive DIsorder).

I have personally found that prayer has helped me, and I acknowledge this is not for everyone.

Also, talking to my Dr and beng open to all treatment options is helping, a little, but better than nothing.

There IS LIGHT at the end of the tunnel, its simply a matter of reminding yourself and then believing that things will get better.

Hang in there.........we are all in this together

[DreamingOfPeace]

I too suffer from PTSD, anxiety, social anxiety and others I imagine, but my biggest issue right now is loneliness as well. I belong to a very big community of Deadheads and I do have a few close friends but still feel very lonely. I, for some reason, feel very much in need of attention. A text messsge or a ph call, something. If I don’t have someone reaching out to me it affects me in a very negative and dark way. Feelings of nobody loves me and I’m just damaged set in. I guess and am beginning to see just how needy of attention I am. I have no children, I’m divorced, and just ended an almost 6 year relationship because of my uncontrollable anger and rage. So now in addition to the loneliness that at times can be so overwhelming it sets me into a panick, I’m dealing with abandonment issues ....:(

[DreamingOfPeace]

I used to feel, and sometimes still do, that if someone doesn’t message me back quick enough it’s because they are ignoring me or conspiring against me ...it’s a very dark place to be in :’(

[TJ]

I know what you mean, and have been there myself.

In all honesty, what helped me were the tools have I have learnt from my treatment.

I am always happy to connect and offer support/txt messages, etc.

I honestly believe if everyone on this forum has the right intentions, we can all help each-other and be there for each-other.

Imagine of there was an "app" for SANE? that would be a great innovation!

[TJ]

Cal, I am happy to help you if I can, being here for eachother is important.

Let me know if I can be of assistance.

[Former-Member]

I PRAY TOO (BELIEVE GOD LOVES.ME) BUT ALSO,
- SELF COMPASSION THERAPY

- MINDFULNESS
- GROW GROUPS
- TIME
THEY HELPED ME MOST ❤