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Evie_3
Casual Contributor

Fighting with my husband

I just recently had an argument with my parnter. It didn't go so well. I felt like he wasn't understanding what I was trying to tell him in the way I felt hurt by him. I came across attacking and hurtful, same with him too. My partner has ASD and I have BPD. not a great mix at times. Especially in communication. 

We go to a relationship counsellor, but haven't in a while due to waiting to get an appointment. Man it's hard. And right now I feel as though the last week I have been on a roller-coaster, especially with our relationship. 

I'm also pregnant, which DOES NOT help my moods. 

It's also sooo hard to control my emotions. 

 

Any advice from anyone? 🙂

5 REPLIES 5

Re: Fighting with my husband

Take it easy and BREATHE @Evie_3 . This sounds like a difficult time for both. However, we do recognise the steps you are taking to better things such as organising a relationship counsellor. We hope you get an appointment soon.

 

Pregnancy can be a time where hormones go a bit haywire. It is understandable that emotions play a huge part. Do you think going for a walk or some physical exercise would help?

 

Please know you are not alone. We hear you and are sitting with you.

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Fighting with my husband

Or. You could consider that ASD is a general deficiency in comprehending the surrounding world and in particular,  emotional interpretation. To suggest it is a minor misunderstanding of human behaviour would be to state the condition is basically anthropocentric. Which would be unfair and untrue to the rest of life on this planet. Then we add that you're bipolar, which is, unless the medication I'm not allowed to mention is working well, can prove to be testy. So, we have two people.. one with a general inability to comprehend the basics of why we do and we don't.. and one with a heightened sense of either mania or depression.. and now increased hormones via pregnancy. 🤔

 

If honesty is what you're seeking, instead of a pet on the bum.. well, be strong. Understand you're together through knowing these things about each other and now there's a bub on the way. Just understand each other, and help other. All will be well. Strength and love mate. 🙂

 

And I think the whole idea of love, pregnancy and testing each other is beautiful. No greater a match is found. Movies are only for thought. Can't even really say it's a reference...

 

Peace.

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Fighting with my husband

And I failed to mention: perhaps presenting to each other your conditions, through accepted text and personal experience will assist? With patience and turn, mind you.

 

All the best. 😎

Re: Fighting with my husband

I reckon it would. I think the problem for me is actually doing it in the moments when I'm triggered.

Re: Fighting with my husband

You're quite right there @Evie_3 . One thing I was taught in therapy is that you need to practice, practice and practice the skills when you are not triggered so that when you are triggered, you can do it properly.

 

e.g. if a runner wants to run a race, they have to keep training. They can't save all their training for the one big race, right?

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