Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Faith-and-Hope]

https://signalartscentre.ie/contact/

@Stargirl  ^^^

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[Stargirl]

@Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @wellwellwellnez @Zoe7 @Rhye hi all and thank you all for your wonderful support over the past few days! Yes some great suggestions, well articulated and thank you for sharing your circumstances too. I hit the wall this week and cried a river. It was well overdue. As you all know it's so hard to relate to friends and even family when you are dealing with someone who has complex mental health issues. It just gets too overwhelming to try and explain the circumstances and for me I did not want to dump on others who may also be silently struggling. At least you are here to support by choice and I am so grateful you are. I do feel the love! 

This morning I called a SANE counselor and I'm glad to say that I was able to gain some much needed perspective. The questions I was asked helped me to see things a bit more clearly. I have a plan of action now and I have written down what I need to do.

[Stargirl]

@wellwellwellnez @Faith-and-Hope  I forgot about headspace. I have contacted them and waiting for call back. 

[Tinker67]

Hello @Stargirl 

Welcome to the forum.  I also can hear the world of love and concern you carry for your daughter, and the challenges of being able to know what is going on for her owing to her erratic communication/and sometimes estrangement.  My husband and I have cared for his 2 daughters through 20 years of similar experience, and now we are caring for our 17 yo who has OCD/Schizophrenia.  Sometimes the weight of worry makes me feel so weakened.  I know our love is strong for our children, and we have been such strong anchors for them through such turbulent times.  But it's hard work, and sometimes we've had to take a step back to reset/recover for the next round.  

I think the idea of harnessing your daughter's artistic interest is a great one, and something we did to assist our oldest daughter to focus on her strengths at a time she was very sick with mental ill health.  I did a quick search and there are lots of 'art therapy' providers in Melbourne, if your daughter has an interest in well-being and personal self development she may be interested.  There's a fee involved of course though.  Or, she may want to join art workshops or classes locally.  Otherwise, contacting her closest headspace centre and having a chat might be another good idea, headspace centres are all highly unique and responsive to the local community so they might even have their own in-house arts program.  

As an aside, I've found the resources on the headspace website for family and friends, plus the resources on Orygen have really helped me to cope and to understand my children's experiences. 

You're doing such a great job, but it's really hard, painful and difficult at times,  let those tears come when they need to.  

Take time to care for yourself. 

Tinker

[Rhye]

This is so lovely to hear @Stargirl and it's what this community is all about 😊 So glad you reached out to the SANE counsellors and now have a plan of action – sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees when you're in the thick of it, and that little extra support can clear the way.

[Stargirl]

Thank you

[wellwellwellnez]

Oh good. I looked them up a bit. They seem to have up to date sensible drug info as well.

Melbourne should have a wealth of resources. Victoria tends to be a little bit ahead of the curve when it comes to mental health services. And, other niche things.

[Stargirl]

@Tinker67 well said re stepping back in preparation for the next round! I have learned this strategy over the past year. And goodness you have clocked up some experience in the mental health field by the sounds of it. 

I am somewhat overly concerned with my daughter's struggles and need to back off. Our relationship is pretty intense! Hard when she uses me as a crutch and also for reassurance which is typical with OCD. I am learning to not accommodate, not to enable and not to complete her loops (which involves recognising the OCD theme or themes when they appear). I have to also work on not overwhelming her (when she seems 'normal and upbeat' I tend to push more on her than I probably should, forgetting that she is still fragile and in her current state, can only handle a few things at a time). I also need to recognise that and work on having a bit of fun with her in between the craziness of it all. 

I will investigate art outlets and will contact headspace as a starting point.

Orygen are very good too and last year I had a team on standby however my daughter declined... We came so close to having a team help her and mostly free resources! They will be first port of call if we get to crisis...I will provide their number to our daughter again us some info on headspace. 

Thank you again for reaching out. I really feel supported already and you have all come at the perfect time for me. 

[Tinker67]

@Stargirl I get you, it's such a balancing act, and we have our own needs in the relationship too.  So fabulous to hear you've linked into Orygen already, Melbourne does have some awesome services and the government is more proactive in addressing funding needs of services, more so since Covid, and also in response to the state's review of mental health services.  

I'm really pleased to hear you are getting some support for yourself, and now you've got the forum where you can pop in and give us an update, or have a rant, or celebrate small wins.  

I look forward to seeing you around the forum.  

Tinker

[Former-Member]

Hi @Stargirl 😊

I also wonder if peer support could be valuable for your daughter, if she hasn't already engaged much with it? It sounds like she could benefit from seeing or hearing about people with similar diagnoses who have gone through recovery, and have a kind of quality of life that she wants for herself. That hope can be very powerful and motivating. It wasn't something that was very available to me in the early stages of my recovery, but I wish it was- it would've made a world of difference.

I'm really glad to hear that speaking to a counsellor at SANE was able to help provide clarity, perspective, and a direction forward for you. It's amazing how they can do that in times of struggle. It sounds like you're good at thinking about and applying boundaries, which is definitely important. There's always support out there for you, and you always deserve it whenever you need 💗

Wishing you the best 🌻