Lived Experience Forum

[CraftPoppy]

25 years of unhappy  marriage a severe bout.of anxiety and finally decided it is a do or die situation to get out.  So I packed my bags and essentials and left whilst he was away for work.  Do much to write here but I was on a toxic situation.  Three weeks later I am in a renovated container after living in a large modern house surrounded by am acre of gardens with my two dogs and adult son.  Had to leave.so many belongings and family treasures.  

I have 1 month on a doctor's certificate before I start looking for work and suitable housing.  Not sure how to stay positive that everything will be ok and that I cam find happiness and a meaningful life.

[Guiding_Light]

@CraftPoppy 

Hello,
how to overcome? in short - by being present.
Anxiety and fear is always to do with a future oriented mind. It's imagination, non-existential.
feel free to read some of my other posts already expaining all of this, and how to navigate the thoughts and emotions,
i'm sure there is something that you will find beneficial for you.

Others may also have something valuable to contribute.
peace,
Namaskaram,

Guiding_Light

[Lilaca]

Hi @CraftPoppy,

I have came across a matured age lady who separated from her husband in her later years. She moved out of the family home and settled in a houseshare, took up the free tafe in aged care and rediscover much of life satisfaction through working with the elderly. Her adult daughter was closer to her dad, so she would be pretty much on her own too, but she found a new community and friends elsewhere. 

I am sure you will be ok too.

Best wishes! 

[greenpea]

@CraftPoppy  Hey CraftPoppy you can do this. After a severe psychosis myself and my husband at the time divorced. It was shattering as I was so ill with mental illness but now I am in the process of starting a uni course and am happier than I have been in a long time. You can do it too sweety. Keep in touch and the forum family will be here with you. greenpeax

[Lilaca]

@CraftPoppy 

Just want to add there is a househare service connecting prospective tenants to an elderly offering free rent in exchange for companionship. Not sure if this still runs due to covid-19. 

There are many organisations offering this and they are usually after students but mostly those above 40s and 50s.

Do check this out: http://www.unitinglifeassist.org.au/homeshare-connection-friendship

Good luck! 

[Owlunar]

That's a huge step @CraftPoppy 

It will not be easy but you will be better off in the long run than staying in a toxic situation

Have you seen a Family Court Lawyer and found out your rights after leaving your husband - you are entitled to part of that estate - you may have to see someone at Legal Aid

I ended my marriage over thirty years ago and yes - your life will be better as you find your feet in a different world - you are entitled to have an income while you are looking for work - atm I think it's Job Seeker - and happiness can be yours - the idea is to find out what will be right for you in this new world

All the best - I feel for you now while everything is so different and wish you well on your new journey

Dec

[CraftPoppy]

Thanks Dec.  

I know I have got a long way to go.  But feeling better about being out of such a toxic environment.

It's just hard being in limbo and finding my forever home and a job.  I know if I was able to find work things would look a lot brighter.