Lived Experience Forum

[Gillie1]

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.

Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man (Discworld, #11; Death, #2

)

I got back to sleep this morning and kept waking up but couldn't move couldn't even open my eyes and then realized I was still asleep and woke up and was still frozen. It happened a few times.  I am not actually sure if the last time I woke I was actually sleeping or awake but I was locked inside my own body again but slowly forced my eyelids open and I was awake. 

[Kyle1]

Yeah... prognosis: darkness!

Then again, we need negative space around a thing inorder for it to take shape. Don't we?

Surely it is darkness that makes the stars so visible... Surely it is the emptiness between notes that makes the melody...

Yes. We'd do well to accept darkness in life, I guess.

Thanks for sharing, @Gillie1 

The other part sounds like sleep paralysis. It is common. (Happens to me a lot). Used to terrify me, but I've learned to relax out of it... How did you feel about it?

[Gillie1]

@Kyle1 No energy for positive spins this morning Kyle. This morning the darkness is just an empty void.

Please don't pay attention I have no wisdom for this morning.

[Kyle1]

Yeah... I get it. 

Mine is damp... I'm missing some medication and feel an absolute wreck.

Do you have something to do today? @Gillie1 

[Gillie1]

Empty void  that's like saying Chai Tea.

My support worker will turn up sometime.Missing medication is not good. The last thing you need. Yes the ☁️ is getting harder to handle. Bring back the sun. 

Sounds like you have been working overtime in your sleep too.

Take it easy today. 

[Kyle1]

YES!! I've finally met someone else who recognises the tautology of "chai tea" ! 

Wow... God bless you! @Gillie1  😊

[hanami]

Haha @Kyle1 I recognise the tautology of chai tea too!!! Tea tea anyone? 

Hanami

[Kyle1]

And so, on the third day, God blessed @hanami too!  🙂

[Gillie1]

This morning was tough. I got out with my support worker which was an achievement but there was little peace in it. I planned to come home and do a tidy up but sort of fell to pieces again. I was well on the dissociation path before coming back to myself with help. I ended up in bed and dozed a little bit but picked up a fair bit after that. 

Still tired but not exhausted. Quiet night and curry. Oh and the 🌞 came out to say hello. 

[Gillie1]

Dealing with dread.

The more time I spend on here the more things I hear about to manage anxiety ( Anxiety sounds like such a tame word for what I and others on here experience). I use a lot of things talked about like relaxing music,  meditation, weighted blanket cold shock etc but some techniques like emdr, tapping, and more advanced techniques for managing trauma and anxiety just don't know much. 

I'm tired of relying on others so much to help me regulate and I've done some DBT but the toolbox I have now is not enough. 

What I'm asking is do people know youtube videos to recommend or resources to research?