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Something’s not right

Shelz
Casual Contributor

Not coping well enough

I am being bullied at work. I am usually able to cope but compounded with gossiping about me, I have noticed I am even more teary, getting withdrawn and unable to manage my emotions.  I have spoken to HR multiple times and nothing has been put inplace to help. They are now realizing I was doing 3 peoples work and my workload has not been equitable.  But then gossip has started to surface that I am in trouble and wasn't doing my work and it is heart breaking as I have had work so hard with all the difficulty to try to do my work so just depressing now

6 REPLIES 6

Re: Not coping well enough

Hi Shelz, sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Have you documented the bullying so you can give something clearly written, to HR? Along with how your job description differs from what you actually do? Once you have a written record of what's going on, and HR ignore you, there are other options. this site might help:  https://www.fairwork.gov.au/employee-entitlements/bullying-and-harassment

 

Gossips... must have pretty small minds if that's what they are spending their time thinking about when there's so much going on in the world. Hold your head up and be proud of your honest hard work. 

 

Most important though, is to be kind to yourself, have a bubble bath, wear your favourite perfume, get a massage, spend some hours crafting, whatever makes you feel good. You deserve it.

 

Big hugs if you like them.

Re: Not coping well enough

Hello @Shelz 

 

Ditto on what @MaddieM has offered in the strategies to take and considering what Fairwork has available with advice and advocacy. (I've added a couple more links)

 

Sounds like the HR dept/person's function is strictly ornamental.  The HR will be taking their directions from a CEO and do you know if HR has taken your concerns to top management.  Next time you could bypass HR completely after you've had a chat to someone from Fairwork.

 

A CEO who dismisses a toxic workplace culture of harrassement often has outdated beliefs such as: if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen or survival of the fittest.  We tell ourselves all the usual things : ignore it and they'll go away; rise above it; be the bigger person; toughen up buttercup; grow a thicker skin; get a hide like a rhino.....and, in a nutshell, you're beating up on yourself.   Detach from that mindf* as that is where the contagion of workplace harrassement starts to drag you down.

 

Workplace bullies who are facilitated and protected by management count on industrious and conscientious employees to perform, as you describe, the work of three - for the wages of one.  It's an old master/slave mindset that depends on the bullied 'slave' fearing retribution if they speak up, fearing termination of employment, and the bully-boy 'masters' hope you'll figure out your place in the pecking-order; that you'll sit down, be quiet and stop rocking the boat; stop blowing the whistle.  And the timeless classic: Go along to get along. 

 

They are so scared of you.  Keep standing up for yourself.  Keep advocating for your rights, as a human being, to be treated respectfully and for your productivity to be valued.   You are not alone @Shelz  - this is an entrenched problem across every workplace and industry and, I wager, there are others in your workplace who feel just as harried and have been beaten down.  It is common for workers to go ...ah, it's not worth it, they're not worth it.   Admittedly, you do have to pick your battles.  Anytime you go in to bat for your own wellbeing and safety @Shelz you are sending a big message, you are saying to everybody: I AM WORTH IT.  I VALUE MYSELF.

 

You're a scary dude....you know that?  I'd pick you first for my team.  

 

Are you a dues-paying member of a Union - call your rep.  If there is no union in your workplace - start one, become the rep.  

 

From my own experience, the worst harrassement I endured, was in a workplace where the staff noticeboard in the canteen was plastered with posters and literature, heaps of it, from the "Speak Up" campaign (circa 2003-2008)  

 

When push came to shove, the company, didn't walk the talk.  They were obliged to display the literature in a prominent place for their employees, to not do would have attracted a penalty from the staff unions.   

 

https://www.safeworkaustralia.gov.au/bullying

 

https://toughnickel.com/business/When-You-Are-Bullied-At-Work

 

 

 

 

Re: Not coping well enough

Thanks MaddieM,

 

I have sent through all he has done to HR. Hopefully they'll do something soon. I am just stressed now and a bit anxious even on weekends when I should relax so will try the bubble bath. I use to get massage but because of COVID i am unable to

Re: Not coping well enough

Oh Jo anne Joy

 

That was just so good to read. I will check out all the links you've all given me. I actually have been so beaten down I never really thought about it this way. Thanks again 

Re: Not coping well enough

Bullies are cowards. They always choose a person who they think won't fight back. They don't know you. They're living on the fringe of your work life, and because they don't know you their gossip and opinions of you are null and void. Only you know who you are!

I believe in fighting fire with fire. So I think you should take up boxing classes or karate. Why?

You need confidence. These classes are not really about learning to harm someone physically but to give you the confidence to place boundaries around yourself, and show them that you can stand up to them.

As soon as you do that, they will be bored with you, because you are not a victim anymore but a survivor.

I think you will do great, and you can get your life back.

Re: Not coping well enough

@Shelz 

Hi. I am sorry you are being subjected to bullying at work. There are laws in place to protect people from bullying. If HR are not willing to help you could file a complaint with the Fair Work Commission and a process would be followed which can result in a stop bullying order being issued to the company then they are required by law to take steps to prevent it from happening again. Info is available online. Google stop bullying order and follow the link to the Fair Work Commission website. 

 

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