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sisteranonymous
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paranoid/grandiose psychosis in a sibling - I'm exhausted and need help

I am the 7th sibling in a family of 8 and I don't know what to do about my brother anymore. He is 27 and still lives at home with my parents who are both 70 and younger brother who is 21. We have all suffered from his manic episodes and psychotic rage and have called the police numerous times. Myself, my dad and my sister (29) have all had police enforced restraining orders against him. He had a magic mushroom trip 2 years ago and was experiencing grandiose hallucinations for the following 3 months. My younger brother and I raised it with our parents and asked for help but when we tried to talk to him he takes on another personality and knows exactly what to say, like his psychosis has an on/off switch so he doesn't get caught out. He started pointing out UFOs and talking about gnostic religions and underground communities, but would only say so much so as not to reveal too much to us, like his spiritual awakening and he things he learned were a secret just for him. He now believes he is a shaman and is here to heal people on their spiritual journey. For about a year he didn't have an anger episode but they are starting again and I don't know what to do. I was so badly depressed and on edge living with him that I had to leave but I can't stand to visit their house anymore because he is too triggering to be around. I hate leaving my parents and younger brother with him to experience it day to day but because of his age he can only be admitted to a psychiatric hospital on his own accord, and once the heat of his episode is over he says he is fine and doesn't need help but it continues to happen. He had me call the ambulance to take him to hospital for help a few months ago, but after 3 hours of waiting he had come to and cancelled it. I'm scared that we have to wait for him to snap again to get him admitted and my parents won't kick him out because he doesn't have the skills to live on his own, he can't even clean up after/provide for himself. I'm also concerned because when he has a psychotic episode he is so hyperaware and manic that he would know what to say to avoid admission, as if he knows how to act sane. He has been diagnosed with ADD and ADHD when he was 6 and refuses to see a doctor because he doesn't think they understand or can help and believes he can do it on his own. My older siblings are tired of trying to talk to him, my parents are exhausted. They should be retired and enjoying each other but they are stuck with the burden of tiptoeing around an unstable 27 year old. He refuses to take any medication but has been smoking marajuana since he was 13 (he now has a medical script for it). We are all exhausted from the years of emotional, psychological and verbal abuse. I need help, resources, even someone to understand and validate the years of trauma that have been overlooked as 'just another bad day for him'.

 

6 REPLIES 6

Re: paranoid/grandiose psychosis in a sibling - I'm exhausted and need help

Hi @sisteranonymous,

Welcome to the forums community, it's so great you've reached out for support here. 

 

I can hear the years of trauma and harm that has impacted you and your other family members from your brother's behaviour. It is challenging that your brother has been so far unable to recognise the harm that his behaviour has caused to his family. 

 

The way things are going does not sound sustainable for all involved. It sounds like your brother may come to need support towards his own independence and wellbeing, and yourself and your other relatives to have a chance have the space & safety to focus on your own lives and trauma recovery.

 

Among it all, I think a great thing you've done is drawn boundaries for yourself in recognising that being in that environment was not good for your own mental health, and choosing to leave and stay away - and also reaching out for support today 💗

 

At this stage, some further place for support include but are not limited to:

This is no doubt a complex situation, but there are definitely support options out there to help address this issue, and I hope any others here on the Forums with similar experience might have some of their own valuable perspectives to share.

 

Take good care,

Girasole 🌻

Re: paranoid/grandiose psychosis in a sibling - I'm exhausted and need help

I’m in no way defending your brother and his actions, but as someone who was diagnosed with psychosis then eventually schizophrenia who was abusing substances and trying to work and living with his parents still at the age of 34, my personal opinion is to get him to a psychiatrist who can give him medication. As much as it is proving to everyone nothing is wrong with you sometimes you need to give time and medication for your brother to find his way… after years of not wanting help after a little persuasion from my parents I finally decided to see a psychiatrist who diagnosed me back in 2011, 2007 I began experiencing symptoms in 2016 I started medication and in 2021 found the medication that worked… during that time I tried work and now have built up about 13 years of experience, just depends on how much you love your brother I suppose @sisteranonymous but I suppose from my experience of wanting to prove nothing was wrong with me I succumb to wanting to get better with a little pressure, because nothing I was doing worked out, so eventually it was my decision to go….. take that as you will 

Re: paranoid/grandiose psychosis in a sibling - I'm exhausted and need help

@sisteranonymous 

I know what it is like to deal with repeated episodes from my brother, over many years and how traumatic that can be. 

Very.

 

You do have the right to look after yourself. 

 

I guess your parents have made their decisions, which is their right and responsibility.

 

The roles of " the person with a mental illness" and family are so different sometimes the common mutual aspects can turn into a polarising othering dynamic.

 

When we recognise that mental health issues can effect everyone and focus on joint mental health benefits for everyone .. my hope is that things get better. Might be naive of me. At the same time we are all unique and what works for one person, does not work for everyone.   

 

Large families have stressors but also benefits.  Set your own boundaries.  All we can do is our best.  Sometimes one person in a family system carries the anger for others ....  Counselling may help.

Take Care

 

 

Re: paranoid/grandiose psychosis in a sibling - I'm exhausted and need help

Hi @Former-Member Itsjustme1, I have a similar situation to @sisteranonymous .  My brother with Bipolar and schizoaffective disorder (he doesn't believe he has schizoaffective disorder, but he says "manic depression" which is the same thing) keeps going off his medication, then it's only a matter of time before he has an episode and ends up back at our elderly mother's house because I think it's his "safe space".  For 25+ years my siblings have been picking him up  each time, and I'm not willing to do it for the next 25!  (My brother with Bipolar is 54yo and child #7 and I'm 47yo, #8, the youngest).

 

After his last episode we sat down as a family and tried to do a "mental health plan", but it's not formal because he doesn't follow through with any paperwork, he wouldn't do a medical power of attorney so we cannot be involved with his treatment legally.  

 

He's currently mid another episode, he's taking his medication again but it hasn't kicked in so he's just angry at anyone who tries to talk to him.  Once he's "reasonable" again I would like to have another family meeting to explain that he didn't follow through with any suggestions from our last meeting, and perhaps set some boundaries from our perspective.  It would be very overwhelming for him, so my approach would be that it doesn't have to happen overnight, but that's our "position".

 

Any opinion on my thoughts?  Don't worry, I won't take them as gospel!

 

 

 

Re: paranoid/grandiose psychosis in a sibling - I'm exhausted and need help

I'm in a similar (but different, aren't they all?) situation to you, wondering the same.  

Re: paranoid/grandiose psychosis in a sibling - I'm exhausted and need help

Yeah that does sound responsible @CRodda consistency with medication is the key and working out what he needs later, probs not thinking clearly with what’s going on. 

you’ve done more than a lot of people that’s for sure, keep at it

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