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  • Author : CheerBear
  • support : 7
  • Topic : Looking after ourselves
Community Elder
Hi @Lise07. I can very much relate to the idea that if something I do isn't perfect then it is rubbish. While it can drive me to put lots of effort into the things I do, it's also been hugely problematic for me at times. I really like the way you approach expectations by seeing what you do as progress towards tackling something maladaptive. I'm curious about how you do that, as in is it self-talk, rewarding yourself etc.? If you feel up to sharing.

@cutiepiekitty there's another thing I can relate to - seeing only what's wrong not what's right (and having some very stubborn versions of wrong and right too!). My psychologist would say that 'shoulds' and 'not good enoughs' are two big problems for me along with black and white thinking (I argue he is wrong with that last one 😉😆). It's very hard to see beyond certain things at times. You touched on early life experiences leading to this if I'm reading correctly, and think its part of it for me too. Very tricky to relearn a lifetime of something that's been reinforced!

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