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Tinker67
Senior Contributor

Son on sub acute admission - not coping

Hello

 

I'm looking for some advice/other people's experience to assist me.  My 17yo son is on a voluntary admission in a sub acute clinic.  He's been there 1 week, they're changing his meds, and he's detoxing from his recently increasing AOD use as well.  He's happy and relieved to be there.  Today my husband is visiting him, our boy is several hours away from home.  I would have gone too but I have to take our youngest son to a medical appointment.  

 

This morning when my husband spoke to our son he sounded shaky.  We know he's decided to split from his girlfriend of 12 months since he's been in the clinic.  They've had a rather intense/co dependent relationship so I'm relieved.  But the fallout is an immature to and fro of arguing, that escalated to verbal threats from our son towards her last night.  Our son said he wasn't well last night, he's had a lot of anger which he associates with the changes of meds and his perception that his ex girlfriend was unfaithful/betrayed him.  He asked staff for 'help' and said he was ignored, so attempted to self harm in his room.  

 

Can anyone advise on how they would deal with a situation like this?  I expect that it is the role of staff to tune into distress in patients while they're in the sub acute clinic, and if a patient asks for 'help' that they would pay attention, is this a realistic expectation?  

 

We've asked our son to cease contact with his ex girlfriend and will ask her and her mother to do the same, so that he can focus on recovery.  I don't think they understand how sick he is right now, and added stress and conflict is not helpful, plus I'm worried he'll end up with legal implications if he's acting in a threatening way.

 

Grateful for any thoughts/advice/experience to learn from. 

 

Thank you

 

Tinker

10 REPLIES 10

Re: Son on sub acute admission - not coping

"Can anyone advise on how they would deal with a situation like this? I expect that it is the role of staff to tune into distress in patients while they're in the sub acute clinic, and if a patient asks for 'help' that they would pay attention, is this a realistic expectation? "

Dear @Tinker67, Unfortunately, no, it's not a realistic expectation. You need to file some sort of complaint with the system, to make sure that the nurses in charge of your son know that he is cared for and people will notice if he self-harms because they could not offer him help.

Re: Son on sub acute admission - not coping

Hello @Tinker67 ,

 

I've read through your post and I can see how frustrating it can be when someone reaches out for help and doesn't get it. I acknowledge not only the strength of your son, but also you in reaching out for support.

 

From experience, when I have been an inpatient, the staff were absolutely under the pump. As much as they wanted to 'help' everyone, there was very little 'help' from the staff themselves. They mainly saw to the physical welfare of their patients.

 

One thing they did offer, however, was peer support. In a recovery centre I was in, peer support workers regularly visited the unit. In the acute wards, when I requested to speak to a peer worker, it was arranged, and they offered a lot of support. I think you will have more success this way.

 

Another option is to access external services such as the peer services SANE offers here  - phone and webchat.  Alternatively, SANE's counselling services .

 

All the best. Looking forward to hearing how you go.

 

tyme

Re: Son on sub acute admission - not coping

There's two elements to this. Mental health well-being and relationship well-being.

 

Demographically I'd suggest suggesting:

Mensline for man issues - https://mensline.org.au/

and HeadSpace for youth oriented mental health -  https://headspace.org.au/

(HeadSpace also seem to have some youth oriented break up advice.)

Re: Son on sub acute admission - not coping

Hi @Tinker67 

 

I thought I’d share a resource that I know about which might give more support to the situation around care in the hospital.

 

In NSW there is an advocacy program called the Official visitor program where you can contact them as an independent body for any complaints or feedback about the care you or your loved one is receiving while in hospital. This might be worth exploring if you meet some challenges through the service itself. 

For NSW they have the phone contact details / or feedback letterboxes in the mental health units so you can ask staff for them if they are not easily found.

 

I think there would be similar or same in other states. However I have been told that other states - they may not always be independent of the health system.

 

Hoping healing & support on your son’s journey & hope you can also find support for yourself being a care giver. 

 

Flybluebird 💛

Re: Son on sub acute admission - not coping

Hi @Tinker67 ,

 

I was passing through and popped by to check-in with you. How are you? How's your boy?

 

Thinking of you,

tyme

Re: Son on sub acute admission - not coping

Hello @tyme 

Thank you for checking in.  He's been in the sub acute clinic for over 2 weeks now, due to be discharged Wed next week.  They've changed his anti psychosis meds completely, and added a new anti anxiety med.  He has been a bit more communicative than he's been in years when we've visited, which has been hopeful.  But tonight when we called he looked flat and sad, he said he's home sick, I let him know I'd call the staff and let them know which he agreed to.  The nurse who is on tonight is so lovely and she said she'd go chat to him and keep a check on him tonight.  She let me know that his new friends who he met at the clinic were discharged today, which is contributing to him feeling more lonesome.  He hasn't been away from home so long before without us, it's a lot for him to manage.  He's had some issues with managing his anger as he's changed across meds, and also some self harming behaviour which he told us about.  Again, he hadn't told staff so we let them know.  We're talking to his psychiatrist before discharge to plan his care so I hope we are able to get him home and help him transition to home without it destabilising him.  Fingers crossed.  🙂

Re: Son on sub acute admission - not coping

Hello @Tinker67 ,

 

I so glad to hear back from you 🙂 Your post has been on my mind for a while now.

 

I can only imagine how hard it is for your son to be away from you. His med is probably helping him to be more away of what is happening. It sounds like he is in a good place and now it is about riding out the wave.

 

As I mentioned early, many MH staff DO genuinely want to support their clients. They are just so run-off their feet sometimes. I'm so relieved to hear a nurse will be having a chat to him. Hopefully it will help.

 

As a parent, I admire your ability to hold on. This must be the one of the longest two weeks you have had! Please remember carers also need care. What self-care will help you tonight?

 

tyme

Re: Son on sub acute admission - not coping

Bless @tyme 

I have been so pleased with the staff I have met at the sub acute clinic, they have been warm and caring, and one of the nurses even shared their own lived experience of caring for family with schizophrenia, so that has been reassuring.  When I have called to report concerns, they have taken it seriously and acted on it immediately.  My son is a bit frustrated that everything he talks about is recorded, but I understand that, as a human service professional myself who also records case notes, that it is about continuity of care as much as it is about covering themselves.

 

I have actually been letting myself take a back seat while he's been in the clinic.  For the first week I took a week's holiday at the coast with our younger son.  That allowed us some time to have fun, connect, and for me to check in with how he is going.  He's had his own health challenges in the past year, with chronic fatigue for 8 months last year following an adverse reaction to his allergy desensitisation treatment.  We had a lovely time together.  

I realised last night, after talking with our oldest boy and seeing him feeling sad and home sick, that I 'picked up' my bundle of worry again for him and I can feel it there.  It's like a tension that I hold, and the weight is a bit much at times.  I agree fully with you, we have to ride out the wave, and I have to hold onto hope and continue to reach out for help with him when he needs it, because he doesn't have capacity to do it. 

One of the things that saddens me is that he doesn't have the spark he once had, I hope it will return, he has so much to deal with and it's cruel to see.  When he's feeling a bit better, I will take him for a break or a holiday somewhere he enjoys.  

Thank you for your care, and for sharing your knowledge and experience.  It is much appreciated.

Tinker

Re: Son on sub acute admission - not coping

Dear @Tinker67 ,

 

It's great to be able to pop in to check in with you and see where things are at. Thank you for the update. 

 

It melted by heart to know things are looking better for your son. It was also great to read of that little break you had with your other son. 

 

Remember, you are always welcome to share your 'little bundle of worry' here (if it helps).

 

We are a community that cares,

tyme

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