GRATITUDE

[avant-garde]

I liked how @AuntGlow put it

Things that made me smile today

1. Trying (and failing) at a bunch of different claw machines
   1. Pokemon
   2. Pusheen
   3. Giant ducky
   4. Pokemon (different) 
2. Dancing Dreamy Stitch at different points in Lilo and stitch
3. Having lost my voice slightly when trying to communicate with the cinema person and using dreamy to communicate that I wanted to see Lilo and Stitch, one person, on concession, in the middle. 
4. Seeing kids look at dreamy and smile and point
5. Going to my old craft store with a 50% off voucher and getting a really cool diamond dot travel case
6. Also getting a bunch of clearance stuff and a new accomplishment beanie boo
7. I got the RGB lamp I had wanted at a second hand place for $15 instead of $60
8. I got a happy meal and hot chocolate 
9. Got this disgustingly hot pink unicorn in a surprise bag and the plan isn't too burn it, rather give it to my "brother" for his birthday next month. It did remind me of @Jynx though, hence the smile
10. Finding a football team candle for the team my brother hates for his birthday 
11. Going to the library and just settling before driving home

@tyme 

I know it seems like I don't get it all the time, that I don't branch out and that I'm stuck in my ways. But the fact is that I plan meticulously for things that may happen, I cope ahead really really well, but that's AHEAD, not in the moment.

Unexpected change I don't handle well and asking me to reach out in the moment to whoever is online isn't something I can do easily, it never has been.

I find small talk difficult, so when I'm struggling, to ask me to

1. Go outside my comfort zone
2. Jump in on a busy thread with a lot of responses
3. Feel like I'm intruding
4. Attempt to make small talk
5. Try and show that I care to others
6. ...

It's too overwhelming for me to do that if I'm going to continue with this emotion regulation thing that seems to be required in order to adult.

I find it difficult to engage with more than one person at a time or talk about things that don't have a purpose in my head. 

It's like everyone I interact with here, I have learned how to interact with that suits me and learned who's best suited for different situations. 

I try and jump in but it is so hard and exhausting for me when I'm normally already depleted from the onslaught of triggers in my everyday life. 

I'm not the only neurodivergent on here and I've learned that a lot of us are like this, from my best friend to various users who have talked about it on here. 

I'm still trying to understand. 

Gratitude 12. Actually being able to be in a frame of mind to write that.

[tyme]

Thanks for sharing @avant-garde ! That's amazing that you have been able to put down all these points. 

We are all different and that's what makes us unique and special. 

Guess what? I'm going to get a few Happy Meals just to get the squishmallows. I'm so excited. I don't eat the stuff, but the squishmallows are cute as. 

Thank you @avant-garde  for being you. Thank you for being open and transparent and having the willingness to launch into the deep (often out of your comfort zone). You are a real inspiration.

Have a great day and I'll respond when I'm on next.

[avant-garde]

@tyme you can buy the toys separately without the happy meal for $2.50 each

[AuntGlow]

I loved reading this and seeing your reflections - that's definitely something to be grateful for. 🥰 @avant-garde