Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Bipolarcarer]

I did the support group for a couple of tries, didn't do a lot..

I ended up finding a support line that was great, for me, with the PTSD. Blue Knot, they also recommended a psychotherapist who specialises in trauma/PTSD counseling and she has been great too in helping me understand me and my reactions better, and focusing less on trying to guess at what she is thinking (my partner).

I finally got it through my thick skull, in a way that sticks, that I need to put my mental health first.

We are now planning to live apart for 12 months, sharing child caring and doing relationship counseling/mediation again, but with less pressure and time/space for each of us to work out our issues. i.e. her to work on stabilizing her bipolar and stopping the self medication with illicit substances. And for me to work on the PTSD from her long intense manic episode without the day to day stresses of living together.

We clearly discussed that the counselor is also a mediator and we can start as counseling but with a realistic view that maybe it becomes mediation.. And have been talking openly about how both scenarios will work.

All a bit confusing as we are talking about mediation now but at the same time she is committing to stopping the illicit drug use which I am 100% contributes to the instability and is something I have been hoping would happen for the last 4 years. But that commitment has been made before, multiple times, so Day by Day. It is also an important thing to happen whether we stay together or not (for the kids).

I have also been (gently) encouraging her to reach out to drug use support services, as she doesn't like to seek help, but I am trying to convince her that 'doing it alone' hasn't been working, so try something different. I think it is important for the kids too, whether we are together or not.