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Advocacy & Support for

Borderline Personality Disorder
& Complex Trauma

Jacques
Community Elder

Supporting a partner in a crisis

hi everyone, i really don't know where else to turn, this is the first time i have bene on the carers forum, my partner is suicidal and she almost made an attempt 2 days ago, she had to change meds because of the warf strike preventing her meds comming into aus, and the ones she is on now have made her really unwell, she can't make phone calls and she is scared of police comming to her house. i have tried contacting so many people to get her into a MHU, i have talked her into going volintarily, but their is no way that i can find to get her their. 

 

please help

 

Jacques

540 REPLIES 540

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

Hi @Jacques

Kobecat here one of the moderators,   Thank you for coming to the forum seeking support.   

I have just sent you an email with support options, but if you are concerned for her welfare now, than you should call 000 and request assistance/ transportation to the hospital for a mental health assessment. 

I hope you find this community supportive 

regards,

Kobe

 

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

hi @KobeCat,

 

i just sent you an email, sorry to be such a burden, but i need  some more advice

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

@Jacques

It is very distressing when our loved ones are suicidal. 24/7 suicide watch is a hard slog.

Two questions
Has she a plan in place?
Is she psychotic or delusional?
If the answer to either of these is yes, please call CATT as she may need hospitalisation.

Sometimes hospital may not be deemed the best place and CATT may be able to visit daily and advise re: meds.

Does she involve you in her treatment? You may need to dispense her meds for while (I do this for Mr D on pdoc instruction). In any event ensure ALL meds are locked away, this includes any headache tablets and the like.

Can I ask what her Dx is? My Mr D has Bipolar ii, GAD. He had psychotic depression at the time of his attempt.

Sitting here with you.
Darcy

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

Hi @Jacques

We've just replied to your email.

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

@Jacques
You are not a burden, please feel free to ask anything you want. While it can feel so very lonely, you are not alone. There are a few of us here that understand the concern, the fear and the pain of having a loved one who at times struggles with life.

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

hi @Former-Member, yes she has a plane and the means, yes, it is severe psychotic, she tried calling the CATT team, they told her to watch tv and listen to music until monday. it is so frustrating, she is so scared of going into the public MHU because she has been assulted in the past. no i live in another state, it is a long distance relationship. her doctor is unavailible until wednesday and her treating team until thursday. they have offered little help in the past, she told them last week she was unwell and they didn't do anything, they even let her drive home alone.

 

thank you @Former-Member. any support is much appreciated

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

@Jacques

I would imagine that you might be feeling helpless at the moment, this is a feeling that I had even being in the same room as Mr D.

Have you discussed what you would do if this situation arose? (Is there a safety plan in place?) Despite what they told her, you can CATT, outline your concerns about plan and means.

Does your love live alone or with others? Is there anyone who can remove means and monitor meds/ stay with her?

Darcy

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

Yes @Former-Member, it is very distressing. Yes we have discussed a safety plan, and I am just trying to break her night down into hours. I'm telling her I love and support her unconditionally, she lives with her mum, dad and two daughters. Her parents are offering little to no support

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

@Jacques

You are doing what you can from a distance. I am sure the mods have given you good advice. If necessary you could speak to her folks about removing means etc.

It will be hard but you will need to get some rest yourself, try and do this as it is an emotionally draining time.

It is very difficult coming to terms that the ones we love do have a disorder that can be terminal by way of self harm even if adequately treated. CATT are probably aware of her feelings in relation to hospital and are possibly wanting her to distract herself.

It is a shame that she does not feel supported by her parents, as she lives with them I would imagine that there must be some level of care there. Family psych education can help in that regard.

Time for me to get some sleep now, will check in with you tomorrow.

Darcy

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