Lived Experience Forum

[Bast]

Hi all

It has been far too long since I wrote and considered the benefits of this forum. Overall I have been functioing OK and holding on to my goals and dreams. Essentially, refusing to allow the neverending MD and anxiety stuff to again take a hold. It is an interesting and challenging thing to do, However I am so aligned with self care, self compassion, awareness of positive atributes and resilince work that I have prevented a relapse. Until now. Unfortunately I became very noticeably upset at work over a client situation that should never have happened, 10+ presentations to the Ed. The client had been judged as malingering, having behavioural issues and attempting to avoid a court case. 

I found this client covered in his own faeces, home environment in dissaray and fearful and psychotic. I managed to ensure that the client was admitted to MH Acute services. I had repeatedly advied of the risk to myself psycholigcaly and physicically - the client had a current history of aggression

I returned to work and became very upset and tearful. I was subjected to 2x Team Leaders telling me my work was work exemplary. I recovered sufficiently to write a comprehensive report and forward to MH appropriately.

On the following day I was accused of the following.

• Not coping
• Being unable to contend with MH clients
• Informed that I always react like that
• That I was required to attend a meeting with HR - the only response I got was you are not coping, you always do this with MH clients.

The issues are neverending, I have had an escalation of MDD due to previous and horrific bullying. I have been monitored inapropriately by unqualified senior staff regarding my mental state. And yet, my client's are always appreciative of my work.

As a clinical Social Worker AMH this disgusts me further as I am disciminated against repeatedly because of my diagnosis.

Please let me know if anyone is going through the same

Regard Bast

[Former-Member]

Bast,

All I can say is ignore the b****** you are working with.Tell them to go and find a mirror before projecting your so called issues on you.You obviously have more empathy,and compassion than them,who I see many as a client who may have qualifications,but lack personal qualities.Did you feel you were following the policies and procedures? Do you realise you put yourself at risk or Work,Health Safety issues in your job with this client?.

I was only a factory worker,until I left due to partly a bullying workplace environment which contributed to my m.i .I had things or felt things were projected on me which in reflection, wasn't my fault.My advice,try and let it go off the ducks back so to speak,you sound like you are one who constantly thinks what they did wrong and what you could do better.People like you are needed in the community services sector, because you understand.If they treat you badly because of your condition,take it further because it's antidiscrimination.

[Lunar]

Hi there @Bast,

I agree with @Former-Member, that sounds like discrimination so get some legal advice and take things further or start to work towards another role as that work envionment sounds very unsupportive.

Are you getting some support right now in regards to how this experience has triggered things for you? That situation sounds horrible, I can't even imagine how that made you feel.

Lunar

[Bast]

Hi @Former-Member and @Lunar

I thank you both so much for your genuine support and understanding. It helps to know that other people actually get it.... You are so right the situation is the result of incompetent management and the utter disregard of my very clearly expressed OHS concerns. Unfortuantely or fortunately for the client I attended due to my strong professional ethics. I certainly acted in accordance with relevant policies however the manager had no interest in what I was informing her and informed me that the previous worker for the client had alsways been safe. Never mind the police reports of physical aggresion and threatening behaviours, Never mind the violence of attacking vehicles in a carpark and threatening people with large knives and r...... blades all fully reported.

You are right I am blaming myself for allowing how upset I was to be seen. Previously I have had to literally 'fake it as all is fine and dandy" regardless of what I am going through. At this delightful workplace you are not actually allowed to be a normal human being, irrespective of their non-discriminatory policies. And........ you must not have a MH condition exacerbated because of organisationally fostered bullying.

I have provided a full report to the Union and been advised noi to return to work. I was going to go however I know how fragile I am and the likelihood of becoming upset is way to high. This will of course be used for the purpose of further accusations regarding my MH! Just gotta love that. 

I am certain that this is now a mangement butt covering exercise and am certain that the projection onto me is very much about this. 

Li1 I am so sorry that you have also experienced the same sh......., different day approach. I hope that you are OK.

I have informed the union that this sort of stuff never actually goes away, It is just fabulous retraumatisation. 

At least I can retain some humour about it. Post having the manager well and truly denigrate me she invites me to out out for a coffee. How utterly lovely is that, my thoughts are so strongly about make up your fr........ mind. Astonishingly I decline!

With many thoughts and thank yous

Bast

[Former-Member]

Can relate spent over 20 years in a factory ,and the last manager I had was a incompetent w***.I had workplace bullying,which I put a complaint in had a week off long service because  I got sick with stress, couldn't hold my head up from the bed,I was bullied a day before my 40th,spent my birthday distressed in 2012.Manager ended up blaming me,poor management skills and conflict resolution skills.Never in my 20 years had I had any trouble until then.I went out the door feeling like I was kicked out.Wish I took it to court at times,never got my life back since and every interview I go for I can sense similar bitchy environments in 5 minutes.For a year leading up to that I couldn't go to certain areas due to the hostility,and couldn't urinate easy due to feeling so stressed in the toilet at work.This was severe anxiety I didn't know I had at the time.Since then my life only my got worse as it was the main employment in the small town.Only trouble with the Union is whether they will do anything Bast,I hope they do,I have little faith in anyone anymore.There is no accountability that's what p***** me off,all the principles and ethics seem to be on paper only.As for your Manager,yes you can do without mind games,trouble with workplaces,you never know who are snakes in the grass.

[Bast]

Hi @Former-Member

Far out your story is horrific. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. Yep you so get it............the retaliation never ends. And....you are so right the paperwork promises are simply rhetoric and utterly useless. You have helped me immensely through your understanding. 

I am aware that 5 staff have been bullied and this is condoned by the manager, this saddens me greatly. Two have left, one has successfully claimed a physical injury and another and I are trying to hold on. I did the official WC claim at the time and the resultant investigation was completely farcical. The bullying occured behind closed doors and was contextualised as supervision. What fun to be repeatedly told you are incompetent, unable to communicate, an idiot amongst other gems. All staff have been subjected to the same. 

I took the issue to the commision for arbitration and at least got to enjoy being heard and fully represented appropriately. It was held in seperate rooms as I could not be in their prescence. The concilliation union representative was wonderful though, she negotiated for me the return of 5 weeks personal leave and 8 expensive sessions with a psychiatrist. The psychiatry turned to even more victim blaming ................how great that was.

I agree with you now, I am a very open and trusting person, not a good plan ever, the snakes in the grass will always turn and bite you. Gotta love the damage. 

I am also concerned regarding the union's level of support. I was informed today that I am required to take personal leave and they have arranged for a teleconference on Monday due to the 'complexity' of my case. I actually don't think it is that complex. A leads to Be and leads to C and so on!

It is all just the same sh.... different day.

Regards and thank you Bast

[Former-Member]

I was in the union for years,then left because it did nothing where I worked,and it was a "psychological safety net" only.All the b***** were in it so what can they do.I just wish I didn't go down as they are still there and I suffered because I had a breakdown in life which this contributed to.It's like I have always had a sign on my forehead I don't know is there saying "feel free to put me down".The idiot manager then came to me one day,I was working on my own and said"You need to remove that frown from your forehead!". Absolute wank.I will always remember him as being the worse public speaker I have ever heard as nothing he said made sense.I hate this competitive "survivor of the fittest workforce",which policies such as workplace bullying and conflict resolution means absolutely nothing. Bit sad when this goes on in social services,,when people like me would rather have someone like you who understands and had life experiences,then others who like I said have the qualifications but that's all.Big difference and makes a difference.

[Sahara]

Hi @Bast,

when I read your initial post I wanted to relpy, but then I felt a bit bad... I was worried that I would come accross as "bitter" because I have had several very negative worplace experiences.

I immediately thought that your supervisor was sending you to an appointment with HR not as a form of 'punishment' for your getting upset at work, but rather to cover themselves in case you go ahead and claim work-cover.

So while they spoke to you rudely and without compassion, making you feel that you had done something wrong (which you haven't), really they were just very fearful that this incident would come back to bite them and they were in major damage control. Fear makes people aggressive and unreasonable. They are clearly incompetent managers... !

Hold your head high, @Bast, you have done nothing wrong. At the very least, at least you have gotten away from them now, being on personal leave. Breathe a sigh of relief!

I honestly think the union will be ok and will lead you in the right direction with this. Just co-operate with them and do what you can to help them help you. 

When they say that it's a complex case.... they might mean that you already suffered from MI before this traumatic incident so perhaps they are not quite sure to what extent your employer is at fault? It will all come out eventually... but be prepared for your employer to tell a few lies... this is what they tend to do. 

Try to stay calm in the face of adversity... after all, the client got help, you did the right thing and at the end of the day, would you really want to go back and work for them anyway? I wouldn't.

[Bast]

Hi @Sahara and @Former-Member

Wow I am holding onto the strengths that you both clearly have. It is immensely helpful to know that I am understood although we all 'got damaged" as a result. I was strongly encouraged by te union to attend a GP (the regular is on leave) and I did as advisd today. I do actually feel better and relieved that I will have the time to recuperate and somehow prevent a relapse, which I am determined to do. I have done nothing wrong - In essence I have excelled in accordance with my practice. You are so spot on Sahara this is the ultimate butt covering exercise in health organisation history. 

Fundamentally though, I am now in the firing line again because of a line manager's inability to behave in a professional manner. This is the concept that I am struggling with the most.......projection and blame shifting. I cannot condone what happened to the client and now to me. I do not believe any such inquisition by a so called IME Psych is warranted and I am affronted and clearly discriminated against as a result. 

In fact I am horrified and really terrified about this. I have had some extremely difficult experiences with Psychiatrists and am not keen to be subjected to any more. If you have worked in the area (and you are stupid enough to disclose it) the interrogation only gets worse. Lesson learnt, I hope. 

The Gp I saw today went on a tirade about referring me to all and sundry including Public MH, yippee, been there and done that because I did some fairly extreme and close to succesful attempts, all related to the denigrating treatment I receive at work. 

Why I am I still there is an interesting question. I have a verbal agreement (only) for flexible work hours so that I can commence my own therapeutic private practice as I fully believe that I can help others in the right context, beyond what I am permitted to do in my current role. I am scared that this agreement is about to be reneged upon,,,,,,,,,due to the current unfounded accusations.

These are my goals and dreams

Regards Bast

[Sahara]

@Bast,

personally, I think it's really good that you did disclose your MI in this instance and it will go in your favour. You have nothing to hide. You have done the right thing. Everything is already out in the open. Please discuss this aspect of your case with your union, if you need to.

What is an IME Psych? Is this someone your employer uses to get a psychological evaluation done on you? I think you will have to comply, but seek you union's advice. If it were me, I would write down everything that happened in a logical, clear and unemotional sequence, just for your own reference. This will help you to find the right words while you are being questioned... it will help you to appear calm.

Try to think of the psychologists or psychiatrists as people who are there to help you, even if they have been requested to do so by your employer. Regardless of who is paying them, they are still trained professionals who are obligated to tell the truth and give a fair evaluation... they will not risk allegations of professional misconduct by twisting your words. Why would they? 

Take your time when answering questions. Just stop and take a very deep breath when you need to. You might want to refrain from accusing your employer of wrong-doing and just stick to the facts... it's up to you. You have to do what you feel is best. 

Remember, you have done nothing wrong. 

I think it's great that you saw the G.P. and he referred you to all and sundry. This will be a big help to you if you have to go on work-cover and eventually if the union wants to get some compensation for you from your employer. 

Let us know how you are going, @Bast. Look after yourself! Maybe go and do something pleasant, like go to the movies and see a comedy, to help you take your mind off things and feel more normal.