Lived Experience Forum

[nony]

Ok so odd question.

I hear instrumental music always.

It's like when its raining you can hear the rain in the background, except its always there in the background. it becomes louder if i concentrate on the music

also it changes depending on where I am and what my emotions are.

So for example if i am at the town hall i hear classical music.

For as long as a can remember I have always heard music. Have tried to bring it up in the past with physiatrists and my doctors, they have been dismissive, *cough* (its not words).

Does anyone else have this odd thing happen to them?

Or anything similar but different?

Would love to talk about it.

Hugs Nony

[Historylover]

@nony I've never experienced it, but I have heard of people who hear music in colour. And one person is a well-known person on radio. Perhaps it's another such phenomenon. 

[Rhye]

Hey @Historylover, I think the term is synethesia, which is a fascinating phenomenon, and when you experience sound/music in colour its termed chromesthesia. Could be both a wonderful but overwhelming experience, I imagine.

[nony]

@HistoryloverThanks thats what i have thought as well but feeling a little like a weirdo as its a weird/odd thing.lol

was wondering if might be part psychosis.

[Rhye]

Hi there Nony,
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. You mention that you have brought this up with your therapists/doctors in the past but haven't gotten much help or advice. Is there a professional you're speaking to currently that you feel comfortable in communicating this experience to, and who might be able to provide some personalised insight and validation around this?

[nony]

@RhyeAwesome

so it's a real thing (scientifically) that's freaking awesome.

it is distracting and can very hard when doing things like exams.

OMG Thank you

Hugs

[nony]

@RhyeNot currently.

Have booked an appointment with a psychiatrist through dokotela. in regards to other diagnoses. Hoping to talk to them about it.

will do some research and bring it up with my new doctor next appointment.

Thank you

i really did think was part of my bipolar, or something. have been called crazy since childhood because of this.

Have only just starting talking about this seriously in the last week rather than in passing with dr's at assessments or diagnosing appointments.

[Rhye]

@nony I'm glad to hear that you're looking after yourself by making an appointment with a new psychiatrist and I hope they're able to shed some light on this experience for you.

I do want to say that I'm genuinely sorry you've experienced stigma since childhood in relation to your experience. Terms like "crazy" are hurtful and very unhelpful, to say the least, and it's brave of you to share your feelings both here and with your doctors. 

Rhye ☘️

[nony]

I'm tired of hiding who i am to fit in.

I don't need to fit in I just couple of people to understand and accept some of me and my struggles.

finding two support groups online and a physical group/clubhouse has changed the way my world works, how i think about myself, and what i present to the world(including to dr's).

Acceptance, Support, Understanding and Community.  I finally found them. So openess and honesty(to myself especially) is easier now because I have safe spaces to go.

Thanks

Hugs Nony

@Rhye @Historylover 

[Rhye]

@nony the way you've expressed this is quite profound – we all need people around us who understand and validate our experiences. I'm genuinely happy to hear that you've found a safe place to land. 

Hearing you say that honesty, especially to yourself, is easier now because you have safe spaces to go, I think that's really poignant and insightful. Thank you for sharing this with us, I know it's given me some food for thought in relation to what safety, community and acceptance mean for me, and the community, as we navigate our own mental health path.