Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[amber22]

Welcome! @Krishna Thank you for sharing this discussion with us 🙂

[FloatingFeather]

In all honesty I don’t think it is something you can really prepare for. Listen to the professionals that are supporting the person you care for. Learn as much as you can about what they may be diagnosed with / what is happening. Try not to take things to heart if your loved is erratic / angry but knowing when to put boundaries in place if needed. Know who you can reach out to when it all gets too much. Knowing when you need to take a break and doing so before it gets too much. Seeking support from other carers.

For me the ride was like a rollercoaster. Some days things were okay, some days were filled with hope and other days were very hard.

Knowing that you don’t have all the answers and whilst you will do what you can to support your loved one recognising sometimes there’s only so much anyone can do.

[Shaz51]

hello @Brena74 , @Faith-and-Hope 

hugs my @Krishna xx

[TideisTurning]

Guilt can be such a hard emotion to navigate in the context of a caring role @Krishna ❤️

[Shaz51]

How might you prepare yourself to step into your caring role?  

Like what @FloatingFeather , I don’t think it is something you can really prepare for. 

in the case of my mum, over the years she has broken both hips, had bowel obstructions surgery and many other problems. 

with my husband , the ups and downs, the meltdowns and time in hospital 

[FloatingFeather]

I agree @Shaz51 - sometimes learning and accepting the guilt is part of caring.  

[amber22]

How might you be able to ensure you are supported in your caring role?

@FloatingFeather 

[Snowie2000]

Thanks heaps.

[FloatingFeather]

I don’t know that you can ensure you are supported but reaching out for support from professionals, friends, support groups is a step in the right direction.

Not everyone says the right thing, sometimes your lovely friends that have supported you as much as they can have their own things going on, some people after a while you can tell understandably don’t want to hear about it anymore.

Knowing when to say `no’ I can’t take on anymore.

My family member I care for had a good friend but after so many months they felt they needed to step away because they said my family member was constantly leaning on them for help and support, and they were exhausted and it was starting to impact their own lives. They reached out to me to let me know (which I appreciated) and they said something like `so can you please check in with your family member more often’. As much as it pained me to say it, I said no. I was going above and beyond in the situation already and I couldn’t offer any more support – I was maxed out already. I felt guilty saying that, but I had to protect me too.

[Shaz51]

hello @ClockFace 

very true @FloatingFeather 

for me when the specialist said mum could not stay home anymore as she needed more care

My family were not supportive of the idea of her going into aged care but none of them put their hands up to help me more 

then the doctor said with my phyical problems it will make it harder for me to cope and for my husband MI