Lived Experience Forum

[BPDSurvivor]

@Cinderella83 , I haven’t heard from you in ages. How are you? I got you are okay.

[Cinderella83]

Oh hi!

I've been through the mud and back just recently actually and I'm trying to get myself to somewhere that's partly sane. 

I've been trying to contact old friends etc to see if I can get a support network going 

My partner was kicked out of our home by child protection, he was being abusive to me and being very strict with the kids, they were unhappy. The day he was kicked out, he was verbally abusing me and my son witnessed it and told his school counsellor as it scared him and he was worried about me. I'm not sure if it was abusive though, probably just verging on it. It's hard to tell though as I was brought up with abuse and all my ex's have abused me 

I'm less happy now he's gone but the kids are happier, that's the main thing! 

[Melbpdptsd]

@CFH . Just thinking the same thing 🙏

[Hope0011]

Hi @Cinderella83 . Not a stupid question at all. It's a really common issue.  Im in a girls only FB group for locals and heaps of people of all ages are posting friend applications  to meet up in person.

 I've been in your position where friendships baffled me and I would avoid people. But I now have a couple of lovely friends and thats all I need. Here's what I learnt..

1) learn what your values are so you can be authentic. Values was a lost word on me when I had lost my identity. 

2) take it slowly and watch for red flags. There's a great podcast on schemas called The Good mood clinic. There's an episode on red flags and friendships.  I wish I had known about schemas way before I did. 

3) libraries often have social groups and you don't need to talk cos it's about doing an activity. Usually the same people go and you start to become familiar. 

It sounds like you're ready to dip your toes in and that's great, best wishes. Xxx