Lived Experience Forum

[hanami]

Yep me too! I vaguely remember watching the first episode but not the rest. Will definitely have a look for it.

[tonys]

@Rhye because i am simple , i have a very simple black and white view of the world, and if im in the company of people that are higher functioning i have to remind them that my social masking can fool them into believing that they are  talking to some one who thinks more holisticaly.  im a person who struggles with the concepts of political correctness and comprehending the flavour of a conversation. like a computor, i can pretend to know what love is but the computor cant fool a normal thinking person. i know the programed elements of love and being  well intentioned may try to give advice for a personal reward,  (the chance of a social intraction with another human being), but im way to damadged to really fully understand what real love is. if you get my drift, so i move clumsily through this world stepping on toes , trying to blend in, but what i should be doing is moving through a world that is inhabited by people with the same functioning capabilities as me.  there are 7.5 billion people on the planet so i know there are others like me.  now all i have to do is find another smarter careing person to put me in touch with that world. i found out this morning that i sent a letter to a blog that was 2 years old with out knowing, does that give you some idea!  That i am simple may be the reason im happy, my plight is that im lonely and im trying to make friends at what , through my eyes, seems like oxford university, and my copping stratagy is defauting to a bizzar sense of humour, way of seeing this strange new world ,  not sure if this is what you wanted to know. take care and stay warm, tonys

[Rhye]

I would (as many would here) love to get you know you in the forums, that is what I would like @tonys 😊

You have a real way with words, I think your honesty and sense of humour really cut through, and the way you convey your story is a pleasure to read and engage with. I also suspect that there are others here in the forums that can relate to that sense of masking, it sounds not unlike people who live with Autism. 

So yes, I do understand because you have a skill at communicating online (whether you would agree with that or not!). 

[tonys]

@Rhye well thankyou all over the place, you are very kind and wellcoming,  im thinking that you have skills in dealing with people with brain injury but im also guessing that not every one here is, and unless people understand  where im at on the IQ scale im going to step in someones corn mash accidently, so , here goes...  theres  the cow , then the chooks, the pigs and dog  then me, and above that are high IQ ,people who grasp the bigger picture and know the doos and donts around the dinner table,  how do you let every one know that tonys is , off with the fairys, . .it takes to long to spell itellectualy disabled every time, is there a sign that you can put up, maybe i change my handle to fruitloops, i think you see my problem. i will have to think carefully how i tiptoe through this field of sloppy cow pads or i may inadvertantly make a big mess. .. but its ok. just have to sleep on it. best wishes to all. tonys fruitloops.

[Appleblossom]

Hey @tonys 

it comes out in your posting that you are not being insulting for putting others down, when you use "nutcase" or 'fruit loop" but trying to keep things light with a sense of humour.

Humour is a great tool in dealing with things mental health, however as everyone's story is unique often their senses of humour are unique too.

Some people may not like it, but I hope there is enough "psychic and social space" on the forums for them not to actually get upset, if you know what i mean.  Just like in real life, we do not have to stay next to somebody we do not like, so online, there are enough threads and different spaces that most people should be alright.

There are the possiblities that someone is very raw and open and can get triggered, but I do not think we should live in fear and have a huge weight of self censorship.  There is a concept I have heard... that is "antifragile" ... we develop strength and resilience by some exposure to different views ... ahh ... its all a learning process.  

A forum should be able to be a place for discussion and be robust enough to hold some contrasting view points ... at least I believe so.

It was great the way @hanami and @Rhye engaged about it all.

Also great you have met a few peep.

[Delicatessen]

I started believing in love again when I started to live by my values.  Made me look at the people in my life (and those who had left). Instead of thinking about whether they loved me first, I gave serious consideration as to whether someone was a person I wanted to love in the first place (got my priorities sorted).

Then came me consciously finding ways to be a loving person to only these people (thinking about how can I make them happy?). Spending time with them helped. As did asking after them (instead of talking about me). Letting them choose at the movies. Just to name a few.

The above continues to be followed ongoing. 

I believe the above has transformed my life - the people I have in my life now are definitely those I want. I love them very much. They also are very loving towards me (noting there is only a small number of them). And that’s vital for at the very least my mental health.

[TAB]

@Delicatessen  Wonderful 

@MDT  @Appleblossom 

[tonys]

@Appleblossom  i say thankyou a lot. heres another one, thanks , what a cool way off getting your message across, i think i read between the lines, and the light popped on when i saw the word , triggers,  yes we all mean well and world is littered with a trails of destruction from well meaning people. im standing in deep water looking at all the socialy educated people on the shore and thinking, how do i get to them, i shared a tin shed with a brother we got one plate of food between us and he was bigger than me.  he was my competetor,  there were no friends to practice social skill, just farm labour , school kids that left deep scars and autism and brain injury, were the  humps i got handed so with that resumae you will understand why crash and burn in the company of people that are blessed with this skill set,  my only gig is that i have a sense of humour, and i try to make people see some thing through happier eyes.  i least of anyone know how people feel. i just know what work for me when i look the beast in the eye.  so i just pray my fumbleings are if not understood, then    hopefully tollerated.. do no harm, its my motto too. on a lighter note , i pushed a button on my emails when i couldnt sleep and it took me straight to your site and you without googleing i,  im loving this new toy,  just wanted to say too that the post about building resilience was to me a profound piece of work if you could pass that on. i read it 3 times to get it and it should be on the school curiculum,  back to sleep, thanks to every one , sweet dreams 

[MDT]

love it @Delicatessen
well done 🙂

[Appleblossom]

@tonys 

well you are making that sense of humour work here ...lol

and I like your courage ... "when i look the beast in the eye.  so i just pray my fumbleings are if not understood, then    hopefully tollerated.. "

Looking the beast in the eye .... TICK

Risking that others may not get you .... TICK

makes for a fair bit of courage mate

I too, had the wrong set of social skills for my environment .... my mother was deadset on manners ... but in the orphanages and housing commission flats ... nobody could speak English without going a bit French ... aka swearing ... and neither manners or people ... made the grade ...

take care

Apple