Lived Experience Forum

[Shaz51]

@BPDSurvivor, are you able to curl up and sleep on those days xxx

my husband loves to stay in bed every morning , he says he can not wait to retire xxx

[Shaz51]

that is it @BPDSurvivor , just what you are doing now xxx

[BPDSurvivor]

@Shaz51, if it means taking a day off work....yes, I just sleep or at least allow myself to relax and not think of anything. It gives a bit of space between myself and my emotions which means I do not need to act impulsively. Otherwise, when I am so fused with my emotions and feelings, I become lost in them and that’s when I act irrationally.

[BPDSurvivor]

@BlueBay,

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@BlueBay wrote:

Thankyou for your reply @BPDSurvivor 

@I just don’t know where to start. 

I have a lot of things in my life (child sexual abuse) that I need to accept incl BPD. But it’s difficult. I feel that I act like a child when I’m so emotional. 

I need to get it in my head thst accepting doesn’t meant it was ok for the things that happened to me. It’s hatd for my BPD thinking to understand. 

At the moment I’m very angry with my BPD. I’m sngry at who I’ve become and my BPD behaviour. 

Im angry st my extreme emotions. 

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I can empathise with you. When I say ‘accept’, it certainly doesn’t condone the wrong. I guess I see ‘accept’ as understanding that I cannot change the past. If I continue to live in the past, I will forever hate myself and those around me. 

I want to assure you, that it IS ok to feel angry. It IS ok to feel. However, it is what we do with these feelings which make it ok or not ok. Feelings are not the problem; it’s our sometimes ‘silly’ actions which set us apart.

In a way, I feel having BPD is something I can now be proud of. Instead of seeing it as a curse, having BPD can be celebrated. It has taken me many many years to come to this. I’ve been through intensive treatment for BPD, and now realise it sets us apart. After all, why should we always be OK? 

We should celebrate together as a real BPD community to raise awareness because it is a really misunderstood diagnosis.

[BPDSurvivor]

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@Snowflake11 wrote:
@Shaz51... Thanks so much, it's great to be here that's for sure. Sift landings feel great. Yeah the no drinking thing is bloody amazing. Boy there are times when my head and body are going crazy for relief that pills don't bring but vodka would. But - I know that would be a catastrophically dumb thing to do.

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@Snowflake11 , Stay strong! You can do it!!!

[Snowflake11]

@BPDSurvivor.... Now that I totally get. Big hugs x

[Snowflake11]

That's great advice @BPDSurvivor. Our heads... Man my head just goes and goes and I want to take it off. I also would love someone who is "normal" 😆 to hop in my head on a bad day for the whole day. I bet I'm not the only one who feels like that... Just so they can actually see what it's like to be us. I'm picking they'd be happy to jump out of there pretty happily!!! 😃😃😃

[Snowflake11]

@BPDSurvivor, I sat on the back steps today with my mind racing and suddenly your words came into my head... I stopped and focused on eating my orange and really brought my awareness into the moment as a much as I could. And it really did help so THANKS!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[BPDSurvivor]

@Snowflake11 ,

I’m so glad you were able to be grounded in the moment and simply just enjoy the orange for what it is. As I read your post, I myself was grounding myself and simply enjoying the flavour of a mandarin and a piece of dark Belgium chocolate. 

In the Stone Age, time is so precious and so we often take the small things for granted. 

LIVE IN THE MOMENT AND SAVOUR IT!!

All the best my friends!

[Snowflake11]

@BlueBay, it sure is really hard to understand for other people. I just had a three day "episode" and I'm flat out describing what that means to others. I think I completely dissociate and so most of those days are a big blur... so how on earth do I describe it. I found a song that I reckon sums up the creeping feeling that begins and I start thinking oh shit no no no... it's the Powderfinger song "These Days".... but describing the actual feelings attached to having really bad days is hard. How are you @BlueBay? I sense you''re not travelling so great? Big hugs xxxx We can get through this together xx