Lived Experience Forum

[uncertainty]

Hi everyone,

Just want to ask a quick question (if anyone else has experienced this) - 

I was out with friends on vacation the other day and I heard my name being called, mind you the place was loud and the voice was quite quiet, at a normal conversation volume. Next thing I hear my name being called again! This time it's one of my friends talking about me, so I asked him why he was, turns out it wasn't malicious.

As we're walking back to our room, I'm hearing conversation about me; "what the f**k is wrong with (me)" "What's his f*****g problem?". I didn't bother yelling at them because they would've denied it... I ended up taking a shower and was really twitchy (almost like Tic's - head shaking/snapping from side to side. I don't have Tourette's though)

I got out of the shower and started shaking/shivering - almost as if my body had adrenaline pumped through it, my brain was racing. I asked my friends if they were actually talking about me, as I was about to berate them - they said no.

I ended up taking my antipsychotic and was okay within the hour. Has anyone else had this? If so, is it the medication or is it just the illness? I haven't had it this bad in a while...

Psychiatrist has given me a 'fairly certain' diagnosis of BP. Will definitely bring this up with them next appointment

[Eve7]

Hi @uncertainty and welcome to the forums where I hope you'll find lots of friendly support.

Although I don't have BP I do occasionally have some psychotic moments, hearing  voices and thinking those around me are discussing me.

I suggest you discuss it at your next appointment.

Take care.

[uncertainty]

Thank you.

I will 🙂

[Willy]

Hi @uncertainty 

I have been “hearing voices” and to a lesser extent experiencing visual hallucinations as far back as I can remember.

In my early 20’s I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I now realise the “voices” were probably a major part of the reason for this diagnosis.

Many experts regard bipolar disorder and schizophrenia as having much in common. Both are considered psychotic illnesses and both are usually treated with anti-psychotic medication.

Only a few years ago, I discovered that “hearing voices” was common to at least 5% of society and possibly as many as 15%. The majority of these people are not considered mentally ill and live perfectly normal lives. It has also been suggested that many people who hear voices are too frightened or ashamed to reveal or discuss these experiences with others in case they be considered mentally ill and treated accordingly.

I started doing my own research and discovered that this information was entirely correct. Furthermore this information has been known for about the last 30 years or so but no doctor or psychiatrist prescribing my anti-psychotic medication ever mentioned it to me.

Even today, in the latest version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, (DSM-5) which is used by the majority of psychiatrists world wide, auditory hallucinations are still listed as one of the main symptoms for schizophrenia.

My experience of voices vary from ones that are commanding and authoritative that appear to be similar to what you have described to ones that sound more like a radio playing in the background.

While these voices can be distracting and annoying I have learnt to live with them. The have become just a part of who I am. The biggest problem I have found is the associated stigma and the near impossibility of discussing it with anybody, including mental health professionals, in any sort of informative way. Fortunately there are now groups around who are able to help people with these issue such as the Mental Health Foundation of Australia’s -Hearing Voices Support Group. There are also others that you should be able to find easily enough online.

Hearing Voices Support Group 

Unfortunately there still seem to be many mental health professionals around who seem to be totally oblivious to these discoveries and still regard hearing voices as a symptom of serious mental illness that requires drastic treatment.

Without doubt, the treatments for schizophrenia that I have been subjected to by various psychiatric professionals and state mental health authorities over the years have caused me far more grief and distress than the original voices and the effects of social stigmatisation that resulted from them.

Regards

Willy

[soppykat]

Hi @uncertainy - i was given an antibiotic which made me psychotic as a side effect (I also couldnt breathe and stuff either - physical symptoms which the ambos didnt believe me!) - but yeah i also *heard* real or not voices - which caused me to get super angry and kick a wall twice lol - my brain was ticking over with random thoughts too which i havent had in years - finally, i have the worst diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder for 20yrs ago now.. oh well

[uncertainty]

Hello @Willy and thank you for your in-depth reply

I have read that both Bipolar and Schizophrenia have a degree of overlap to them. 

I just want to point out/add that my hallucinations aren’t common at all. 

Do you find this is the case with yourself?

I know in Manic episodes auditory hallucinations can occur

[uncertainty]

Definitely not fun when you can’t distinguish real life and whatever is happening in your head.

Not sure why it happened this time around… can’t remember it happening!

[Willy]

Hi @uncertainty 

You said  "just want to point out/add that my hallucinations aren’t common at all. Do you find this is the case with yourself?"

I am not exactly sure what you mean. As I said in my earlier posts, my auditory hallucinations vary quite a bit in content and form. I can also be hallucination free for months at a time and then have several occurrences in a week. This often but not always happens when something significant is going on in my life.

Fortunately I have only ever had one really bad experience which happened many years ago  The voice kept persistently and convincingly urging me to take the life of my daughter who was 5 years old at the time. I have always loved my daughter and any conscious thought or intention of harming her in any way fills me with dread. To this day I don't understand what that voice was about or why it happened but the experience was horrific.

My understanding of your description about what happened to you is that you believed you could hear friend(s) close by talking about you which turned out to be an hallucination. 

I experience this type of thing from time to time. Usually I can't tell the difference between reality and hallucination.

Over the years I have evolved a way of handling these sorts of situations which most of the time enable me to get by with a minimal amount of hassle or embarrassment.   

For example I might say " Sorry I wasn't listening. Did you say something?"

If they did say something I  would ask them to repeat it. If they respond with something like "No , I didn't say anything" then I might say  "Sorry. It must have been my imagination",  which is probably not too far from the truth anyway.

Regards

Willy

[uncertainty]

Thanks for your reply and I’m sorry that happened to you. That sounds like it would have been hard.

When this happened the other day, I took it literally and was pissed off that they were talking about me. It was a strange experience looking back at it (yet it felt 100% real)

My only real grounding (which is what made it all click) was asking two of the three friends if they were talking about me… I’m not sure why I was somewhat aware of what was happening.

I’ll take your tips and use them if this ever happens again.

I have my appointment with my Psychiatrist on the 27th of April.
Thanks Willy 🙂

[Delicatessen]

I hallucinate terribly - makes me feel attacked when they occur randomly and anytime 24/7. My psychiatrist said they were serious an designed (by whomever) to terrify me. No change in my diagnosis as a bipolar. So was put on antipsychotics and life changed for the better. Wish you the best of luck.