Lived Experience Forum

[Peri]

Hi @Former-Member 

it is raining here today, but not stormy thank goodness, I feel a gloomy too. It is my granddaughters birthday today, she will come to her father later today and stay the night.  She is seven the little darling.  

Yes I made the chocolate cake and it is all gone now.  Today I may make another and some rocky road.  

I didn’t get to the library, but shall try again tomorrow.  

I am still in bed having coffee and have all the dogs with me. The weather is making them snuggly 

my anxiety and sadness seem very heavy on me today and I can’t think of a way to overcome it.

i do hope that you are not too bad at the moment

peri

[Former-Member]

@Peri ... thinking of you and hoping things improve for you soon.  Oh nice ... happy 7th birthday to your little granddaughter.  Such a lovely age too.  My two youngest grandkids (both girls, 2 families) are currently 7yo, but will turn 8yo in July and December respectively.  So a very similar age.  Good to hear storms and extreme weather seems to have settled.  Hopefully the nice weather, less gloomy, will return soon.  Its a beautiful day here today ... 24C warm and sunny, no wind.  Lovely late autumn day.  Ha ha ... yes, Holly is very snuggly in the cooler weather too.  She has a very fine coat, so no warmth there.  Your bed sounds fairly crowded, with your two dogs plus your sons.  Chocolate cake must have been yummy.  Oh nice ... I love rocky road ... clever you to make your own.  I expect little granddaugher will love it too.  Enjoy having her with you and your son for the day and overnight. Talk again soon.

Sherry 🌺🤗💕

Maybe you need a bigger bed?  😂

Enjoy your coffee in bed .. here is a refill for you. 🌹

[Peri]

Thanks @Former-Member ,

 my granddaughter is very special, she has a genetic disorder and has disabilities as a consequence.  But she is very beautiful and connects with people in a lovely way.  She has her own lovely personality and connects with people ina very special way. I adore her.  And we have special routine on the nights she is here, her parents are separated.  When she is here, her father plays with her, then feeds her and showers her then he brings her into my room and we watch tv together and play.  She can be with me for a couple of hours then she goes to bed with her dad.

i love it and if I miss out for some reason I really feel it.

i wish I could post a picture of her here as she is so beautiful and loving. 

We we had a nice little party for her. Now I am relaxing by the fire and the Tele. 

The rocky road is really easy, I mostly don’t like th shop bought stuff but this is yummy

i hope you are ok, safe and feeling like a worthwhile person.  

Peri

[Peri]

Dear @Former-Member @Shaz51 

I am feeling very alone here, I don’t seem to have the dramas in my life that attract supporters. I live a small life and lost all that meant anything to me. All that I worked for for fifty years that is all. 

I know everyone here is struggling and battling their own demons. And some identify with others , but not everyone. That is ok.  

That is why I think I shall leave and go back to managing on my own.

i have been wrong to look for connection where you can’t meet people and see them and touch a hand.  I am not a highly needy person . But need more connection than this i this.

 Meanwhile thanks you all and I wish you all well

peri

[Former-Member]

Oh @Peri .. I am so sorry. 😔💕

My apologies I did not respond to your post from yesterday as yet. I still have your notification saved in my email inbox as a reminder to get back to you. I have had a couple of busy and difficult days, and have not posted much outside of my own thread.

Of course I respect your decision, and you must do what is right for you. And even though you have been a somewhat infrequent visitor .. I will miss you so very much.

I hope you will reconsider, and return here one day. In the meatime, please take good care. I love and admire you a great deal, and my neglect of you was never intentional or designed to hurt you.

I will always think of you when visiting inlaws in Perth. Watching every little dog and wondering if it could by one of your two. 🐶

There is always a place for you here @Peri and I will always hold a place for you in my heart.

@Appleblossom @outlander @Eve7 @Shaz51 

Sherry 💔

[Peri]

Thank you @Former-Member ,

but you have not neglected me.  Wihat is an infrequent visitor?  I see myself as posting a bit.  But I am one of those people who don’t say something unless I really have something to say.  I am not much of a talker either.  

I have met some lovely people here you are one of those and I only wish you well

peri

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Peri  💗

I wish you all the best, along with your gorgeous very special little grand daughter.

I need to try to get some sleep.

Good night Peri. You know where we are, should you ever wish to return. 

Sherry 💝🐶💤

[Appleblossom]

@Peri 

Your sharing about your grandaughter was beautiful. Thank you.

I respect your feeling and decision about when or whether to post.  It has to work for you.  If you are feeling, left hanging and not connected it would drain your energy.

I saw you as having a special connection with @Former-Member  and felt ambivalence about whether I was intruding or not.  I was so used to not being special, being in the wings watching, I can be very unsure about the "status" of any relationship, online or irl.

My impulse to post is often generated by a drive to improve things generally, so that what happened in my family is not repeated. Drama can generate strong feelings and maybe a sense of connection, but many other things. Some cannot relate at all.  I also strongly value the good quiet things in life.

It was good having you here.

Take Care however you decide to be ...

[Peri]

Dear @Appleblossom , @Former-Member 

[Peri]

Dear @Appleblossom , @Former-Member 

thank you for your kind replies.  As you see I a still here.  I am feeling very down and have high anxiety. 

Appleblossom, you have never intruded I assure you. I appreciate contributions from all. 

 I think I don’t post on others threads much or tag others so that may result in my feeling of isolation.so it is I who should be more inclusive.

i have let myself down badly the last couple of days and don’t know how to feel better about it.

and today I was supposed to go out to lunchwith my brother and his family, but my granddaughter is not well so my son was staying with her and I don’t feel especially great so I didn’t go either, I feel guilty. He is so good to me.

i feel like I have failed at life somehow, and I don’t know how to get myself back.  

I am 68 and just see the sort of endless ahead of me I don’t have the energy to turn it around.  

So chatting here is good 

peri